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Onward -- 2001-01-23
 
I haven't writen in such a long time... mostly because there hasn't been much going on in my life as of late. My friend A.Mouse came back from her trip the other day, only to run smack into her real life. I can't really go into that since that is her private business, and this journal is about me.

One of the most important things that did happen in the last couple of weeks was how I have moved towards my emotional center. I've thought about who I am and how the world so often doesn't like that. I hate sheep, and I've never been one. People still get on my nerves, but they have to live their lives the way they want to. I won't worry about them anymore because as I once read, "If you care about people's aporoval you will be their prisoner." How true. The last few years I've tried to find myself, only I made the mistake the success or failure of that journey by how people accept me. Yet, for some time now I've cared less and less about that, and so I've been able to find myself. You know what? I like me. If no one else those, that's their problem because I don't have to live with them. I live within me and that's where it's important to be true. I've built some personal inertia, but the body at rest type, over these few years. Now my mission has to be to build personal momentum and make a difference in this world. I know that real diffence is done one person at a time, and that's what I'm in the middle of doing. If I can make one person smile, if only for a moment, I know that that day I made a slight difference. Yet, the difference I'm taking about is bigger, but no less important. If I can keep that smile on a person's face then I will know that I have made more than just a difference, but a change for the better. Damn, as I think about this it seems to be something more than impossible. Nevertheless, I understand that it's the journey that's important. Onward.

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