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Chugging along -- 2001-02-27
 
Nothing new going on... just the same old same old. I did have some very strange dreams the last couple of nights. Two nights ago I had a dream in which I was walking down a semi-familiar street by my house. It was familiar in the layout, but not the individual buildings that are on that street. So anyway, the next thing I know I'm in a hospital with this nurse hovering over me. She asks me if I was feeling good enough to take a shower, since apparently I had been asking to take one for some time. Not feeling any pain I said yes and the next thing I know I'm taking a nice warm shower, without the nurse of course. Though, she was hardly the nurse type, in that she was pretty gorgeous. Anyway, while I'm taking my I notice that part of me is deformed. Just then I hear the doctors come into my room and talk about my condition. They talk to each other and then call out to me. I don't answer them back, but they know I'm in the shower. They start talking to me that my deformation can be fixed with surgery. That's when I wake up. Strange, huh? Then, last night I had a dream that I lived next door to someone who had an elephant in their back yard. It was chained down so it wouldn't go around the neighborhood destroying anything and everything. It must have not have been chained down too well because he got out of my neighbor's back yard. Soon enough I hear the commotion outside the house, mind you a totally different house than the one I live in. The elephant sees me and starts to chase me all around the parked cars on the street. I try to make it back into the house, but the elephant is blocking my way. I'm standing behind a tree and I make a run for the back of a car. From there, while the elephant is looking the other way, I run towards the back yard of my house. I make it back there and go up on the roof. From there I see the elephant, but he can't reach me. That's when I woke up. Strange, huh? You bet it is. I usually don't have any recollection of any of my dreams, so these two nights have been very much out of the ordinary. What I wonder is what these two dreams mean, if anything.

My friend AMouse, called me the other day. She started to cry because of her break-up with her boyfriend. I didn't know what to tell her, I hope I did my best to comfort her. She has a self-esteem problem in that her ex-boyfriend put her down in subtle and not so subtle ways. How is it that these kind of jerks always know what to say to a girl to make her feel like shit? Anyway, I talked to her how he didn't deserve a great girl like her. She is a wonderful girl, and I should know, I once felt that I had fallen in love with her. That wasn't true, but rather a fantasy that I clung to in an hour of desperation and loneliness. The feelings, at the time, seemed real enough, but they weren't. I knew that the second I sent her a letter telling her that I was in love with her. Dumb, but also a cathartic action that purged me of the silly thoughts running around in my head. It set me straight, and I realized that I wasn't in love with her, only it was too late to get the letter back. Funny, we've never spoken about that letter, and I'm ok with that. The friendship between us is what's important, and I think the two of us realized that. I only hope that she comes to realize how she was the better person in the relationship, and that nothing she did was wrong. He was simply a jerk who needed to fuck around with other girls. I can understand that, he's 20 years old. The last thing any 20 year old wants to do is settle down with any one girl. It's a dumb attitude, especially when you find a great girl like AMouse. Yet, no one ever said that 20 year olds had any brains.

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