| So here I am, wanting to call this girl I met on the shuttle bus but finding excuses to put it off. I don't want to make it seem like I'm too eager with her since that has worked so well in the past. I'm being sarcastic, of course. :| I just felt so good talking to this girl, it was easy. so many times I think, is this the one, and I don't know if I jinx it because of that, but I seriously think I should stop that sort of shit. And, with this girl it was just normal, nothing forced. And that's what makes me fear that I'll fuck something up by acting in my old way. When I talked to her there wasn't anything that I expected... just a friendly conversation. But, there was a easy going feeling that I haven't had with a girl in a long, long time. See, and this is another thing that gets me in trouble, I project a possible future, and then it never comes true because I live in that dream world of possibilities. During those few minutes that I had with her things were perfect in that I didn't force anything and I didn't think ahead to some dream world ending to our little encounter. It was just played by ear and it was perfect. I don't know why that made me want to cry, but it did. I'm just hoping that when I do call her it will be the same, and not forced. In other news, I'm glad that I got another story finished. At least this week wasn't a total failure. |
