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I am melting, and that ain't good -- 2001-08-14
This heat sucks! I don't like this humidty at all. 100 degree tempatures are something I'm sorta used to living here in Los Angeles... but add this humidity and I'm dying. You can't sweat the heat off in this type of weather. I did get one of those misty mates and that has helped a lot when I'm outside. The cool water feels so good as it hits my face. Not to sound like a commercial but it really does feel good. :)

I was going to go out today and take some pictures, but I just couldn't stand to be outside longer than I had to. (whew) I'll wait for another day to go and take some pictures, I can't get in the mood with this heat.

The ideas are coming at me fast and furious in the last few days. I think that this commitment on getting some sleep and not staying up until 2am every night is going to pay off. Yesterday was one of the few days in recent memory in which I didn't feel like I was going to fall asleep in the middle of the day. Just going to sleep a little earlier has made all the difference. I did read something once that even as little as 15 more minutes of sleep at night can make a difference between a being a walking zombie and a bright eyed go getter. I believed it then, and I believe it now... get your sleep. I even wrote something last night and it was good... at least I hope it's good. Nah, I know it's good. LOL

I think that the fact that I'll be alone for the rest of my life finally hit me yesterday. I know I've said it before, but in the back of my head I thought about how maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there for me. I saw the rest of my life like a road last night and all along the way there were little stops along the way to my death. At every stop I was alone. There was no one ever there to share anything with... and you know what? I didn't see it as a bad thing. My mother always told me that it was better to be alone that to be with someone you don't like. I think that if no one can like me that much than I am better off alone. The drive that was there to share my life with someone is gone now. I can't see me bringing myself to like anyone ever again. There's so much more to life, and I'm going to search those things out and leave love to everyone else.

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