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Waiting for the lady of Shalott -- 2001-08-19
Do you ever feel the need for something, but you just don't know what it might be? I feel that way now. "Anne of Green Gables" was on PBS just a few moments ago. I was watching it, something I haven't done in a while, even though I do have the video. I don't watch it that often because it causes great feeling of nostalgia for me. I remember seeing it for the first time in my early teens. There was something about the story and the characters that opened another world to me. No other story has affected me as such. I read the "Anne of...." books, not all of them mind you, and feel in love with the world of Anne Shirley. I think that I fell in love with her as well, as everyone does, it would seem. Shortly afterwards I met up with MFC, who promptly took my heart away. She didn't know it, but she did, and she never brought it back. I think back at the time when Anne Shirley came into my life... she really did give me a love for the romantic, and the tragic. My favorite phrase is still, "I'm in the depths of despair." I feel that way now. How I wish things would work out to help me bump into someone who is in the depths of despair too. I want that more than anything else... but I can't have it. And, as romantic as being in the depths of despair is sometimes, I rather imagine that the girl of my dreams is but a breath away... so I could tell her exactly what I've been writing here. I think that I was born too late. The wonders of technology are but a consolation prize for true love.

Under tower and balcony,

By garden-wall and gallery,

A gleaming shape she floated by,

Dead-pale between the houses high

Silent into Camelot.

Out upon the wharfs they came,

Knight and burgher, lord and dame,

And round the prow they read her name,

The Lady of Shalott.

Who is this? and what is here?

And in the lighted palace near

Died the sound of royal cheer;

And they cross'd themselves for fear,

All the knights at Camelot:

But Lancelot mused a little space;

He said, "She has a lovely face;

God in his mercy lend her grace,

The Lady of Shalott."

To be poor Lancelot, to know his love is gone... I know.

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