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Wishing doesn't work -- 2002-01-17
Emerald hasn't come around in over a week. I guess he got tired of just flying around my window. :( That's sad because watching him jump around the plants outside my window was pretty cute.

Well, the on-again-off-again thing with Talia seems to be off again. I called her yesterday and she just answered to say that she was busy looking for something for her hair. Pretty lame excuse if you ask me. I need to forget about all women because this whole romantic endeavor is nothing but a dead end. I think that she called the other day because she was bored with all the other guys who seem to be on her like melted butter on bread. I didn't think that she put me in that catagory, but I was quite wrong. So, I'm losing her number and not calling her.

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "Twinkle, twinkle little star...." The end of that is a request to grant a wish. I used to believe in that saying. The only wish I ever made upon a star was for Kat. That's all I asked, that's all I ever wanted. A few nights ago I drove into my driveway and for some reason looked up at the sky. I saw a star and remembered that wish that I made so long ago, and for so long. First I thought about how stupid and supertitious I was back then. Then I thought about how many years I wished upon that star, but that I didn't really do anything to make that happen. I don't believe in wishes anymore. If you want something, or someone, then it really is up to you to go out and get it. Loving Kat taught me a lot of things about myself. Because of that I think that I'm a better person through and through. I've learned that you can't go around wishing, or praying, for things to happen... that's for sure. Praying is the same, and I don't do it anymore. When my Grandma wasn't feeling well I almost considered praying for her to get well, but I didn't. It would have been a waste of time, and I knew it. I didn't want to ask him for anything, nor do I ever want to have to turn to him for anything... ever.

I'm not in love with Kat anymore... it's been a long time since I was. I love her, and I know that I will always, but I'm not in love with her anymore.

My favorite webcam is the Prince Edward Island Cam. I've been checking it out a few times a day for the last three and a half years and I never saw it this snowy. I think that it comes from the fact that the last view didn't allow for much of a view of the ground. Either way, I was watching it one night right before I went to sleep. The street was totally quiet and I thought about that saying, if a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? I wondered about that and thought, would this street exist if there wasn't anyone there to see it? Of course it would, but it was neat to think that at that moment the street would cease to exist for a moment because no one was there to see it. I know, stupid thoughts.

I found a neat picture of my neighborhood taken from a satellite.

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