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Don't need anything -- 2002-12-23
Natalie called me Sunday. We had a nice converstation. Maybe nice isn't the word. I think it's better to say we had a pleasant talk. I thought of her as a friend... no more, no less. Know what? I liked that. We're friends. She likes me as a friend.

The other day I realized that I didn't want anything for Christmas. I'm going to buy a couple of books that I'm interested in reading, and I don't want anyone to get me anything. I've already told everyone that I know that I don't want anything for Christmas. If anything I need to get rid of some of my things. I have too many things. Know what? The majority of the things I have are meaningless. I have no use for them. The sentimental things I do want to keep, for the memories. But, everything else needs to go in the trash.

Know what? I don't even want a girlfriend. I'm a single guy, and I've been a single guy for a long time now. Know what? There's a reason why I've been single for a long time. I like being single.

Sure, I'm not fucking anyone, but who cares? Women aren't interested in me anyway. I know when I'm licked. I know when to fold them, and when to hold them. Right now it's time to fold.

Know how liberating it is to know that you don't want anything? What am I talking about, all of you want something. Not this cat, I'm through with want. I don't need anything.

I've gotten away from finding what is important to me. Playing games with a woman isn't important. Friendship is. Finding just the right gift for someone isn't important. Loving them is. Hoping for something that will never come isn't important. It's stupid. So, I'm through with wanting anything. About a year ago I almost reached a point where I coud say that I didn't want for anything. But, then something pulled me back. I wasn't ready, I think. I'm ready now.

Call me the "Want Not" Kid.

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