Free -- 2003-02-20

You know, it feels pretty damn liberating to stop caring about certain things, and certain people. There's a release of a burden, a valve opening on the pressure of having to deal with things you don't really care about. It's so great to not have to deal with people that just see you as a personal manservant, and/or chauffeur. I've been quite happy for the last few days. I owe it to a possitive look on things. Just recently I noticed that I was getting angry at the drop of a hat. Over stupid things that I couldn't changed. It tore my up inside, and my stomach suffered. But then I looked back at the things I learned from the Tao, and realized that I was not like water. I had forgotten the words I had read. I've forgotten to meditate as often as I used to, and I've been all out of wack. I found a little time to meditate and looked at all the so-called problems I was worried about. You know what? They aren't such a big deal. They never were. Yet, like so many of us, I turned what was nothing into a big mountain of frustration. The problems weren't so bad anymore. I just have to step back, see things logically, and remember that nothing is worth getting upset about. Least of all friends that suddenly don't want to be your friend. I finish up this entry with a few lines from one of my favorite poems, Matthew Arnold's Dover Beach. Ah, love, let us be true To one another! for the world, which seems To lie before us like a land of dreams, So various, so beautiful, so new, Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light, Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain; And we are here as on a darkling plain Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight, Where ignorant armies clash by night.