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You ever Feel, Trapped? -- 2003-06-30
Though life is good, there are some things I wish I could change. There are things I wish I could leave for a moment. In my attempt to eleminate want from my life I find that there are so many things I can do without. I also find that there are some things have hold me back. For the longest time I was not one to rock the boat, seek what is out there. But now, I do feel an ever growing itch that I find I can't easily scratch. And now, I find that the reason I can't scratch that itch is because of the choices I've made. I am happy with those choices, they have brought me a great deal of joy. However, an ever growing part of me wishes to kick up a little dust. Alas, I have made promises to myself, and I can not go back on them now. What kind of a person would I be if I couldn't keep a promise to myself?

Dear Margaret,

You can not believe how hot it has here. I feel like I'm going to melt. My energy is being drained, to the point that I have been wanting to sleep during the day. I hate sleeping during the day. Today I took a 10 minute nap. It didn't help me feel better. Going to get the mail did help wake me up.

I absolutely love getting things in the mail. I don't always get good things in the mail though. Sometimes the mail only has stupid ads. I don't even go through those things because they never have anything I want. Stupid coupons for stupid things. Like having two Domino's pizzas is a good thing. One Domino's pizza is a bad thing, two is a tragedy. I have found some good things in the stupid bunch of coupons. Once I got an ad for this Phily Cheesesteak place right by my house. The cheesesteaks are pretty good. Not as good as Mick's, but they did have great onion rings.

The best onion rings I've ever had were at the Disneyland Hotel's former great dinner, The Monorail Cafe. That place had some great greasy food. They tore it down and put up a bunch of stupid stuff. I miss that quaint dinner. It was the last bit of Disneyland that reminded me completely of my childhood. Time marches on, right?

There's a couple of girls I have my eye on in my summer classes. I've tried to strike up a conversation with the one that sits next to me, but she's not biting. She didn't even say a word until the second day of class, and then she said something kinda silly. She brings her Apple notebook with her, and she types up all her notes on it. Her hair is super long. It goes all the way past the small of her back. The first day she wore it in a braided ponytail. The second day she wore it loose, and I was able to see how long it really was.

I'm babbling because I feel very sleepy. Getting up early for class, while still going to sleep late, has taken it out of me. Couple that with this heat and it's a recipe for me being downright sluggish. There are some other things on my mind, but I feel sleepy and I'm going to go to bed before I pass out.

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