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Bridges Burned, and Crossed -- 2003-09-13
Did you feel like you couldn't be joyful in any way on the second anniversary of 9/11? I know I did. I felt bad about having a little chuckle, a smile on my face, or any little bit of joy. Can you believe that it's been two years? The strange thing is, I haven't felt a bit of fear of other attacks since that day. Call it what you will, but I do not fear another attack.

There comes a time in life when you one must reevaluate certain friendships. The time has come for me to reevaluate certain friendships. Certain people around me have become distant. They have made it clear with their actions that they no longer wish to continue a friendship with me. This is fine. While hurt, I can't force someone to be my friend. Never. So, I will forget about these friends that are no longer friends, but people I used to know. Burning bridges isn't my favorite thing to do, but sometimes it is the only thing to do. No regrets. I'm living my life now so that I will not have any regrets when I pass on. It's not easy.

The path to that no regret ideal is to just put myself out there, and to not allow self-doubt to creep into my mind. I can't ever feel that there isn't anything I can't do. The amount of regrets I have up to this point in my life is enough. I mark this time as the period in my life where I make up for those earlier regrets.

Consider this a good-bye to those people that no longer want to be my friends. It's fine. Life is too short to harp on these things. I'm not going to give it a second thought. Good-bye, have a good life.

The road in this relationship with Talia Del Monte continues to take some interesting turns. Some of them good, some of them bad. I can't seem to find it in me to completely commit myself to her. I'm not sure why. There are simply too many thoughts swimming through my head right now. Nevertheless, I do adore her. I find that I have a wonderful time in the moments I spend with her. Time will tell if I'm able to put aside certain issues. I do want to drop the baggage I'm carrying that causes me to hesitate.

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