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Click, waiting for a Click -- 2004-01-24
I talked to Suiza Angelica about relationships on the phone the other day. She told me how she she wished to find someone she just CLICKED with. It was strange because it was only the day before that I thought the same thing.

That wonderful CLICK has yet to happen to me. Not sure that it will ever happen. Matter of fact, I think that it probably won't happen. Sure hasn't happened yet. Well, can't say it hasn't happened at all. But, the CLICKS that have occurred were one sided. Always one sided, unrequited.

Maybe I should stop hoping for that CLICK to occur. It's a thought that I've punched around for a while now. Sometimes I think it's best to stop hoping for that CLICK to happen. Then, other times I think that it's better to wait. Most days I'm somewhere in the middle, kinda like Suiza. Only, she seems to be CLICKING one sided lately too. Sad.

Have you had the experience of feeling something, but not knowing that that feeling might be? I had that the other day. An intense feeling of something, but I couldn't put my finger on it. There wasnt a word to describe the emotion. An emotion ith no name it would seem. It was an intense feeling that made me feel like I was going to burst. Like a balloon filling with water, and unpleasant. I felt my skin stretch, and my heart grow heavy. The feeling lasted for a few moments, and then slowly subsided. There were still lingering feelings left over, and I felt off kilter the rest of the day.

While I didn't know what the feeling was, I felt a need to go away. Not sure to where, but I supposed anywhere. I knew that wouldn't work, so I simply stayed where I was and waited the feeling out. It finally subsided completely, but the thought of it left me wondering why I felt that way.

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