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Apprehension and Absolution -- 2004-02-14
 
My Aunt read me my Valentine's day horoscope the other day. I'm not a believer in horoscopes, but sometimes they put some words of wisdom instead of actually predicting the future. Case in point. My Aunt walks up to me and tells me that my horoscope say that during this Valentine's day I should be less apprehensive, and profess my attraction to someone I like. Easier said than done. But, there is a kernel of wisdom in that statement. I should be less apprehensive.

Case in point, have you ever wanted to say something so bad that you felt you were going to burst if you didn't? Yeah.. well, I feel like that all the time. Which really irritates me to no end. Sometimes to the point that it ruins my day. It's just so hard to let the words out, considering the repercussions of saying something that might not be welcomed. Like an advance.

On a completely unrelated subject, this is my sock. It is worn out, and completely stretched out as well. I had to take it off and throw it away because it was causing me to go nuts. Before I threw it out, I scanned it for your amusement.

I hate it when my socks get like this, all streched out and floppy. They always seem to find they're way to the front of my shoe. Which is completely annoying. I hate it when my shoes are a mess of sock all folded throughout. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. I don't even know why I wear some of these worn out socks. Oh yeah, because I don't always have enough cleen socks. Damn!

On yet another subject, I think that I have come to a point in this Michelle Cayada thing that I can forgive her for giving me the silent treatment. I shouldn't feel putdown by her indifference towards me. I should have simply chalked it up to the fact that she is finally discovering who she is. Everyone knows how it is to simply want to erase everything and start anew. I suspect that her want to change for the better is at the root of her indifference. My feelings were hurt because I felt like a dirty dishrag, used. While I admit, I still feel like a dishrag. I am not going to linger in those feelings. Enlightenment is knowing that this little thing is completely unimportant in the big picture. So, I'll try to put this in the past. And being in the past, I will not dwell over it.

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