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"What I want/need" List -- 11.21.04
Last week I was on the phone with Angelica Charla. We were talking about this and that, your typical "talk-about-everything" conversation. Then the conversation turned to relationships, as many conversations do. Angelica asked me to list the qualities I'm looking for in a woman. While I didn't have a ready answer, I didn't have to think too long to get a nice little list going. Most of that I want in a woman can be summed up in the following short list.

1) Intellect: A woman HAS to have a brain for me to be involved with her. Physical attraction is one thing, but beyond that is my need to have a conversation. Not just about what was in the news today, or what color is the new black. But some real meaningful conversations. Whatever that is, right?

2) Independent: There is something super attractive about a woman that doesn't need to spend every minute of every day with me. I know, kinda sounds stupid to want a woman who doesn't want to be around me all the time. But, my point with this one is that absence makes the heart grown fonder. The time apart can strengthen the time together. So goes my theory.

3) Loyalty: One of the most important things, I feel, is loyalty. 'Nough said. Being loyal, I put this high on the list.

4) Openness: Communication problems are what cause strife in a relationship. Most of the time communications break down because no one is willing to put their cards on the table, and say that they mean. And not in a sugarcoated way either. One has to be completely honest. If something is held back, that's only going to cause trouble down the line, when it's revealed.

5) Gorgeous: Duh, this is self-explanatory. As my friend Suiza Angelica said to me today, "If there's no physical attraction, why even get involved with someone? Let's just be friends." My sentiment exactly.

6) Understands Me: This is the coup de grace, and perhaps the most impossible attribute to find in a woman. Angelica Charla sure thinks that it's not very likely that I find someone with this quality. Sadly, I think she's right. Her exact quote is, "Whew, good luck!"

Here is Angelica Charla's list. No explanations because I didn't ask her to expound on the subject. 1)Very Attentive/Devoted, 2) Open/Honest, 3) Non-Judgmental, 4) Spoils/Pampers You, 5) Puts me at Ease.

Makes sense, don't you think?

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