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First visit -- 02.19.05
I finally had that big cry today. Nearly three weeks after my Grandmother passed away, I finally had that big cry I was waiting for. It happened today because I made my first visit to my Grandmother's grave. Everyone else was out of the house. My family went to this mall that's about 70 miles away, out by Riverside. They still aren't back right now, and it's just half pass 10 p.m.. I think that they are on their way back. Though, I also suspect that they stopped to eat some dinner somewhere. They asked me to go, but I'm not into malls. The less time I spend in them the better.

Back to my visit. It was raining most of the early part of the day. As you can see in the following picture, the day was gloomy.

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The gloom matched the tears coming out of my eyes. The tears started as I soon as I entered the gates of the cemetery. I nearly couldn't drive because my eyes will filled with tears. There was another funeral going on as I drove to the mausoleum. I felt sad for the group that was there, mourning their loved one. It has barely over three weeks since my Grandmother died.

I know that I'll miss my family when they leave. My cousin and uncle are going to leave in a week. Today I got my first real glimpse as to how life is going to be when everyone leaves. Since my family went to the mall, and my Aunt went to work, I was here at home by myself for the majority of the day. It felt OK, but I kept expecting my Grandmother to come into my room every five minutes. I kept thinking someone was going to talk to me. You know, it's strange, I talked to very few people today. It's strange adjusting, but also feeling that things are normal, but not quite normal. It's like I'm used to this, but not really. I know, I'm not making any sense here.

Tomorrow we're going to Disneyland. I haven't been there in over four years. The last time I went I didn't have the greatest of times. Things were changing there, and it didn't feel right to me. I also didn't have as much time to get away for a short day trip. So tomorrow I'll be back, and I intend to take a lot of pictures. It's been so long that the last time I went I didn't have my digital camera. I had my regular old SLR, which was heavy, big, and which I didn't feel like carrying around.

I remember I lost a lens cap on the Matterhorn. I didn't even take a picture that day, I think. I probably did, but not too many. Now I'm planning on taking a bunch of pictures. I'll post the best on Vista Drive.

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