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No talking for now -- 08.18.05
I've spent the last two weeks trying to set up this Net2Phone account through yahoo messenger. This is so I can call people without my bill showing up the size of Andre the Giant at the end of the month. (Last month the phone bill was over $100 plus the DSL charge) With my finances being so paltry right now I can't afford phone bills like that. Despite me wanting to talk to everyone in creation, I can't call anyone right now. Not until I get this VoIP thing figured out. I called Net2Phone Monday and they said that they'll call me to confirm my account. Of course, I've talked to them for the last two weeks and they can't seem to get this thing straightened out. I can't imagine why this has taken me over TWO WEEKS so far. It's so completely frustrating that I'm ready to just give up on it if it doesn't work this week. I wanted to talk to everyone in creation, but maybe that's not meant to be just yet.

This year has been a total bitch in so many ways. But, change is good, an in that spirit I'm moving on. In a little less than two weeks I'll be in class at a new school (as I've said countless times before).

One more thing, this is MY public forum. As such I can pretty much say anything I want to say. But, I censor myself a lot because there are people who read this journal that will automatically bitch about things. But, I can't stand holding certain things back anymore.

Michelle Cayada, I don't consider you my friend. You can't stop talking to someone for over two years and then suddenly think that things are going to return to normal. Normal is not default setting for a friendship that stood dormant for over two years. A friendship atrophies in that period of time, to the point that it can never fully recover. Because of the animosity that I carry from my feeling that our friendship was only a matter of your convenience, I feel that I must break all ties with you as a matter of self-preservation. You are a perpetual drain of personal resources, both emotional and monetary. It became clear to me soon after you severed communications with me that you considered me your patsy. A patsy that would remain until the sun stopped revolving around you. Thankfully you released me from that orbit, and since then I've come to realize that your importance in my life is infinitesimal. The most important person in my life is now gone, passed away into the oblivion of death. Her passing taught me a lesson, that if I can live without her grace in my life I can live without any one of a number of casual acquaintances in my life. You fit squarely into that category. So know right now that your absence will not leave a void, nor will it cause me terrible suffering. Your absence will be catalogued and filed away in the trash heap of my memory. I wish you all the best in your endeavors, and in your machinations for fame and wealth. While you seek to find the pot of gold at the end of your colorless rainbow, you will find that such projects lead only into unenlightened territory. But no one can ever accuse you of being interested in true enlightenment. The quick solution, the give it to me now attitude, has always been your personal trademark. I'm afraid that attitude will serve to weigh you down, and prevent you from achieving any of your desires. I wish you could heed people's advice as much as you heed the mindless attraction of killing time. Good-bye and good luck.

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