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Pre-ordained futility? -- 11.28.05
(11:32 p.m. Sunday) Once again, I'm asking myself why the hell I even try when it seems to be pre-ordained that I'm going to fail. I suppose I could put a good spin on things and just think about how lucky I am to know that something isn't going to work out before it happens. That way I don't have to get my hopes up, or anything stupid like that. Yeah, I guess I should just laugh and appreciate that everything I do is just not going to work out right. Yeah, but I'll still try to act surprised when it happens though.

(2:52 a.m. Monday) Just finished up a poem for my poetry class. It's not my best work, but certainly I didn't just throw something together. I can't do that. Something worth doing is worth doing right. I like to thank all those great artists that I "borrowed" from to write my last poem. You are all considered talented for a reason, because you are.

In my last entry I gave a few details of my Thanksgiving trip. I took my laptop with me hoping to write, update my journal, and download my pictures. I was basically able to download my pictures. There was very little opportunity to write, or update my journal. It's about 20 minutes past three in the morning right now, I best get some sleep. I have a TON of things to do tomorrow. Because of my little weekend trip I now have to finish up some homework that I should have done on the trip. I was planning to, but circumstances didn't allow me to do my work. Oh well, there's always Monday.

(10:38 a.m. Monday morning) OMG! I don't know if I told you all that I submitted an opinion piece to the school newspaper about a week and a half ago in hopes of finally being officially published. Well, I just went to check my email and found an email from the opinion editor of the school newspaper saying that he wants to use my piece. OMG! You don't know how happy that makes me. Yesterday (you just read what I wrote about that) I was feeling mighty down about things. I was just thinking about how I try to do these things but they just don't work out. The editorial I submitted was the example de jour of how things don't work out for me, but now I can't use it because that DID finally work out for me. I have a ton of things to do today, and I haven't even taken my morning shower. Gotta get to that, I'll write more later.

(11:14 p.m.) OK, today turned out to be a good and productive day. I was able to finish up all the homework that's due tomorrow. Today I was able to finish a poem, a short story, critiques on a short story, and poem, as well as my photo assignment. That's a LOT of stuff. But today was a great day because I was able to get everything done. It was also great for the whole getting published in the school newspaper thing, and having a few things fall into place. Today those things that usually go wrong actually went right. What is up with that? Could it be that I turned a corner? I'll believe it when things start to go well more often than they go bad. Anyway, I have an early start tomorrow.
End communication.

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