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Busting my Hump -- 06.19.06
Get ready for a BITCHFEST because yesterday was such a sucky day at work and in my life. First, the work related shit. There's a line in the movie "Dirty Harry" in which Harry Callahan is asked by his new partner why he's called as Dirty Harry. Another character answers the question for Harry saying, "That's one thing about our Harry, he doesn't play any favorites. Harry hates everybody." But the real truth comes out later in the film when Harry has to stop a suicide jumper by beating him up as the guy is standing on the top of a building ready to jump. As Harry says, "Now you know why they call me 'Dirty Harry.' Every dirty job that comes along."

Now the reason why I'm telling you this bit of information is to basically set up how the name on my name badge shouldn't be Eric it should be Dirty Harry because I get every dirty job that comes along at work. This is my "reward" for actually working during my shift. (Here's where the bitchfest starts) They hired a couple of new people and sure enough they automatically know how to disappear when they're most needed. I'm not one to point this out to the managers, but I should from now on, but every time there are a ton of customers these jokers seem to be taking a break, or returning items, or any other shit other than being in the front of the store. So I'm left to do the work of two, sometimes three, of these idiots. Meanwhile they're drawing a paycheck for not doing anything. I'm not the kind of person that says no when someone asks me for something. I may not like doing it but I'll do it. It's all part of being a good Buddhist as an example to the world. I also believe in the notion of paying it forward, that if each of us did something selflessly the world would be a much better place to live in. As it is it's a horror of mendacity and selfishness.

So yesterday I was literally all over the store. In the morning I had to open, which means prepare the front of the store for the day. Well, I didn't get to start that because right away someone from the stocking crew needed some help. I'm happy to help, but I had to work on the front. As soon as another one of the clerks came I went and helped the stocking crew.

Yesterday was not the day for such business though, because I was so tired. I helped them for about an hour and a half and by that time my arms felt like rubber. Compound the fact that I haven't gotten a good night's sleep the last couple of nights and I was exhausted. The same went for the rest of the day. During once stretch the two new guys were somewhere over the rainbow for all I know as I did their job. Oh, and then because of there was a surge of customers I didn't get my second break of the day. Now as I understand it I'm supposed to get two breaks during the day, but this weekend I missed two of my allotted break times. Fuck! Meanwhile the two new guys are off somewhere in the store doing who knows what. I wish I knew where these people go to because I'd like to go there and slack off too. Bastards!

The only good thing about yesterday was supposed to be the fact that I got a little earlier than usual, about an hour and 15 minutes earlier than my regular shift. Well, that turned to shit because I was expecting to hang out with a couple of friends. But when those plans fell through by Friday, but not willing to let that stop me I asked Talia del Monte if she wanted to hang out and go to Pie 'n Burger for dinner. The plans were all set but then I got home to find a message on my answering machine from Talia del Monte that she can't make it. Firstly convincing her to come to meet me here at my house was a chore in and of itself the other night. It was quite literally like pulling teeth. I should have known that she would come up with some lame excuse at the last minute by her attitude about the whole idea in the first place.

Yesterday was a good example of the problems that arise when you rely on flaky people. Fucking shit! The problem with counting on people is that they will let you down. I really should just turn off that little thing in my head that trusts people will 1) be reliable, 2) be there they say they will, 3) not be total douchebags.

I think this sort of stuff is a symptom of the breakdown of civility in this world. People say they want to be good people, but the reality is they want to be good only if it benefits them. No one is selfless in any way at all. You have no idea how hard it is to be a Buddhist in the face of all these people that have completely different and opposing ideas.

There's a great line from the movie "High Noon" that illustrates the problems with being honest in a world of lies.

It's a great life. You risk your skin catchin' killers and the juries turn 'em loose so they can come back and shoot at ya again. If you're honest, you're poor your whole life, and in the end you wind up dyin' all alone on some dirty street. For what? For nothin'. For a tin star.

End Communication.

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