(2:09pm) I'm sitting here at the Library info desk wondering how some people make it through life with what seems to be, let us say, "limited mental resources." But that's neither here nor there because what this journal was supposed to be about is my most recent illness, which I suffered this past weekend. I don't even know what I had, but the symptoms were: body aches, general weakness, fever; nausea, and did I mention fever? OK, I mentioned that all ready. I won't bore you all with the details of the weekend-long bout with this most recent ailment, but I'm mentioning it because it does seem pretty strange that I've gotten sick three times since the end of finals a month ago. I wonder if I'm not just falling apart from the constant work and school schedule that I've given myself, as seemingly some Herculean type challenge.
Thankfully, I can sorta kinda start to see the light at the end of the tunnel that is graduation. What to do after that is a $64,000 question, for any of you who know THAT reference. What I have to do is try my best to keep up my strength during this stretch to home. Because you know that it's always that last bit right after rounding third that gets you, because you're tired from the rest of the run. Itís called Senioritis, because we seniors get it. You're so close to the end that you start to pull back a bit, probably thinking "I'm nearly there, I should ease up a bit." Course that's a BAD thing because the next thing you know easing up feels REALLY good, and you're easing up a bit more, and then a bit more, until you're on cruise control driving Miss Daisy.
Right now I'm just polishing up half of a Subway sub that I got this morning before work. I haven't been eating well, in quantity nor in quality of food, lately. So since I've been getting sick a lot lately I figured that I would start getting better today and start eating more and better. I can't afford to skip any more meals. Nor can I eat super fatty food either, because the combination of doing both certainly contributed to my recent bouts of illness. The no rest schedule I can't help too much until after June, so I just have to survive that long before I can slow down a little bit... enough to catch my breath (hopefully longer).
(4:35pm) I'm minutes away from going home. I'm going to get home and try to relax, unless some other "crisis" breaks out. Perhaps my family invaded the Bay of Pigs and need me to lead the assault. ARGH! I jest, but it does seem like there's always some mini crisis that they need me to attend to. I certainly can't resent them for it. Nevertheless, it does seem like the days of just coming home and watching TV like a potato are over. I NEED to get that kind of placid relaxation back if I'm to survive as a human being. Maybe I need to start thinking how I can make my room even more of a sanctuary/Batcave. I've already blacked it out to keep as much outside like from coming in. Maybe I need to rearrange the furniture in order to give me a little more privacy, and make me more inaccessible.
(9:56pm) Back home now, spending some alone time in my darkened room. It feels good to be home. You know, Iím out of the house so often these days that I really do miss the sanctuary that is my room. The first thing I have to figure out is how to have the door to my room open while still being closed. Traditionally the door to my room is never fully closed. Up until a couple of years ago my door was practically wide open. Ever since my Grandmother died the door has found its way closer to the doorframe. On most occasions my door is just past half way closed. That doesnít mean itís always in that position. A lot of the time it is still open all the way. Now this door thing was my Grandmotherís doing. For some reason, every time she would walk by my room, and the door was a little closed, she would swing it wide open. Again, I donít know why she did it. And now that sheís no longer here I canít really ask her. Whatever the reason it set the precedent for what position my door would remain in. Now that sheís gone Iím able to close it more and more. But, I do like to keep it somewhat open, if only because Iím constantly going in and out of my room. Perhaps I need like a curtain in my doorway to keep my privacy while retaining the ability to quickly enter and exit my room. Hmm, Iíll have to think about this some more... But later, right now itís getting late and I have work tomorrow.