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A man without a Library -- 05.26.07
 
(12:49pm) Today is not my last official day here at the library, but it is the last day I'll be working here. I know I've gone on and on about leaving here but today I'm not feeling as down... yet. I'm sure I'll feel all nostalgic when I start walking to my car later tonight. I felt like that way on Wednesday as I walked to my car after my last final. I just checked my grades because this classmate of mine told me that he knew what he got in one of his classes. One of my grades has been posted, and I'm happy to say that I got a "B" in my grammar class. So that's one grade down, three more to go. I'm really worried about two classes because my lax effort this semester might produce lower than wanted grades in those classes.

Fucking Ralph's was TOTAL bullshit yesterday (Friday). Everyone was acting like a total asshole, and I had to trudge through their shit. The company's "secret shopper" gave the store a zero grade... AGAIN. The store I work in is a complete mess, heavy with management and low on actual workers. Every department except the front end has exactly the workers needed. It would make sense to have plenty of people available to work when it gets busy, but that's not what we have. Often times I find that I have to literally do EVERYTHING because there aren't enough people working. ARGH! It's so completely frustrating to work there. Beyond the job being absolutely mind numbing, the people there are jerks.

(1:34pm) I'm taking my lunch break, sans the actual lunch part, up in one of the study rooms in the library. There's one that's about the size of a small classroom (pictured below) that I've never been in, so I'm sitting here since no one else is around.

My view is of the chairs for next week's commencements, which I'm not attending. Everyone keeps saying I should but really who the fuck cares. I don't want to make this whole thing so final in a way. I want to come back here and work here. I don't want that walk to be my last here.

Right now I'm feeling rather funny. I'm missing friend Santa Nueva and I mean missing her A LOT. It's amazing how one can become so attached to someone else in a short amount of time. I've known her since the beginning of the semester, but really we didn't become friends until about half way into the semester. Yet right now I miss her more than anyone else right now. It's nearly the end of my lunch and I find that thinking about this is making me a little sad.

(2:55pm) A little Billie Holiday is making this slow hour feel quite nice. I'm trying to write, but I'm not in that inspired mood. Last semester I advocated to my Senior seminar class that one should wait for inspiration to hit, and not write before that happened because anything written outside of inspiration would be crap. I'm inspired, but at the same time I'm not quite up to writing. I almost didn't realize that this was a holiday weekend. Tomorrow crappy Ralph's is either going to be dead or insane. My vote is that it's going to be totally insane, which sucks major dick. Worse thing is I'll be working in the thick of it all since I won't be getting out until 6pm. :( Damn that mother-fuckin' job sucks so much dick.

(4:00pm) Well, I'm down to my last hour here. It's been super quiet today, with good reason, school is DONE. I've only answer 27 questions, so far, and two phone calls. Twenty-eight, someone just came up and asked me a question.

(8:32pm) Back home after running a couple of quick errands and getting some food in my belly. I have some TV watching to catch up with in the next few days. Monday I'm going to sleep in and enjoy the day off. Actually, this coming week I want to just relax and maybe write a bit.

(10:19pm) There is a friend that I have that never seems to have time for me when I call her or when I try to IM her. She always has something to do, which makes me think that I'm just not going to make the effort to contact her anymore. Anyways, here's the last picture I took of the library as I walked away from it forever. I got a little teary eyed as I walked to my car.

Farewell Oviatt. End Communication.

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