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The Big Interview -- 10.10.07
(2:20am) Either Iím excited or Iím so used to being up late, either way I canít sleep. I have work in less than four hours and Iíve been tossing and turning since I woke up about an hour and a half ago because I was thirsty. So, in lieu of sleep I have decided to get up and do something, anything, other than toss and turn in bed. So here I am.

OK, on to the big news. Tuesday (about 14 hours ago at this point) I had my BIG job interview at the B.H. public library, which I think went well. Before I continue the story I want to thank EVERYONE that has gave me their well wishes and calls of good luck. I GREATLY appreciate you all being there for moral support. Having everyone root for me to get this job is over the top cool. I donít have the words to thank you all properly, except to say that I am quite grateful to have amazing true blue friends.

Beverly Hills city hall as taken by my iPhone

So I went and was interviewed by a panel of three. I was a little nervous, but Iíve been through this before so I knew what to expect. They asked me the typical questions like what I thought are my strengths and weaknesses and such. My former library co-worker Simon went down to the library to speak to someone about me and he was told that they liked me very much. Of course that could be lip service for all I know, but at least he went down there and put in a good word for me. That was ULTRA nice of him, and can only serve to help me. I will know in a week whether I got the job or not.

I so need this to finally be the out of my crappy Ralphís job. Iíve made some friends there, but at the same time Iím wallowing in the mediocrity of Ralphís. Even some of my co-workers have said that Iím too good for that place. Thatís saying something, because most people are perfectly willing to have the opportunity to commiserate about their misery. But to openly tell someone that theyíre better than where they are is admitting that maybe they werenít.

I only have a couple of hours to get some sleep, seeing as itís nearly 3am. I drank some wine in hopes that it would make me sleepy. I think itís working, but either way I need to get to bed. Iíll finish this entry later.

(6:53pm) Iíve been trying to get some sleep since I got home about two hours ago, but I continue to have zero ability to fall asleep. Iím not not even that tired, but my eyes are burning. Iím a little out of it, which sucks because I had something I was going to talk about. Oh yeah... I actually just remembered as I was typing that last sentence. I spoke to my father last night. ARGH! More frustration with that man, and itís because heís just so silly. Iíve always said that no one really changes, a leopard doesnít change its spots goes the told saying, and itís true. My father wanted to talk about the price of the house. Earlier in the week I got an email from the realtor saying that we should lower the price in order to sell the house. I told her I thought it was a good idea since the house is definitely not going to move at the current list price. Itís far too overprice for its condition and location. Nicer houses arenít even going for what my dad is asking for. The market is depressed, and it is definitely a buyerís market right now. Prices arenít what they were last year. But try and tell that to my father, who got pretty mad at the fact that I agreed to lower the price. I didnít want to go and tell him that he was being greedy and a fool by upping the price because it would only lead to a discussion I didnít want to have. Again, Iíve said it in the past, I want to have ZERO interaction with him. He may be sick, he may by dying, whatever, I donít give a fuck. Honestly he means nothing to me. I feel more love for intimate objects than for him, but I play along because... well, actually I donít have an idea why I do play long. I think itís just to be civil. But honestly I hardly consider him a father. I thought about how his funeral would go and I think that I would have to remember the real pain of losing my Mother and Grandmother in order to cause me to cry at my fatherís funeral. I think Iíd rather not even attend.

I know that I must sound like the worst person in the world right now, but Iím not. How can I feel pain for a loss when he was never around in the first place? So yeah, Iíd rather not even deal with him at all, but Iím forced to. I never even wanted this money from this stupid house. To me it represents the hurt he inflicted on my mother. Because instead of being good and taking care of her he went off and saved his cash and bought himself a couple of houses. Thankfully my mother didnít wait around for him to change, she left him and did perfectly well without him. As I have done now. Any interaction with him if forced on my part. I thought this stupid house would be sold by now and I could just not deal with him ever again. I would hand him his money and just say, ďthe end, no more.Ē Itís strange that my mother used to say that I was so much like him, but as I think about his actions and mine I can honestly say that Iím the total opposite of who he is. Sadly I lost my mother and not him... fucking piece of shit.

The San Francisco trip is almost just a week away. Iím super excited to get out of town. Iíll know about the new job next week too, so this is a critical time. Iím hoping that next week will be the grandest day of the year. Getting that job and going on a trip would mean it would be. OK, now Iím getting both sleepy and hungry, but more hungry than sleepy. Miss you Veeg!
End Communication.

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