previous entry   /  newest   /  archive   /  next entry

La Muerte -- 03.05.08
 
Well, not happy, it looks like the Angel of Death is still my best friend. Today I went into work at San Marino a little earlier than usual because there was to be a meeting before opening time. The city manager came in and told us that our leader, the head librarian for the city, the nice lady that hired me, is retiring because of her cancer. She�s been fighting cancer for a while now, but it�s obviously gotten to the point that she feels the need to retire. Everyone at the library was sad from the news because we feel like she�s going to die. That�s not a given, of course, but I can tell that everyone that�s worked for her was devastated by the news.

And it makes me go back to that joke about how my best friend is the angel of death lately. I mean this is just getting to be too ridiculous.

As I drove home I looked back and thought about the sadness that�s going to grip my workplace in the next few weeks. It�s not fair, but then again nothing is.

During the meeting I held back my tears until I thought about what someone said about our boss. They said that she built this place, meaning the new library. And that at least she got to see it open. That really hurt. I looked out the window and thought about where I was and how said it was that my Grandmother didn�t get to see me graduate, find a pair of good jobs, and everything else that�s happened in the last three years since she passed. I thought about how unfair that is, but that there was no other way it could happen. My Grandmother told my aunt that one of her biggest regrets in dying was not being able to see me graduate. So when I thought of that, and what one of my co-workers said, I couldn�t help but really lose it.

It�s not going to be easy, I know, I�ve been there. But, we can survive and even thrive. We really don�t have any choice. I want to write my boss an email saying something, not sure what right now. Nothing I say will help change anything. What�s meant to happen will.
End Communication.

previous entry   /  newest   /  archive   /  next entry

american ecstasy   /  diaryland