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Existing isn�t Living -- 08.24.08
 
�This is your life, and it�s ending one minute at a time.� - Fight Club

Work is work, not good or bad, it isn�t much of anything... it just is. That pretty much sums up this entire year actually. I can only speak for myself, but I would say that this year has pretty much sucked so far. Last year had it�s ups and downs, but for the most part it wasn�t as pointless as this year has been. Good or bad last year was one thing or the other. When things were good (a rarity I will add), things were good. When they were bad, well, you know where I�m going with this, when they were bad they were bad. This year has just been. I�ve just existed this year, nothing more. That�s pretty shameful if you ask me. The worst thing is that I notice that everyone at work is also just existing. That�s not the fate I want. Work is work, but life should not be in the margins. If this is the way you want to live then so be it. I rather not. I�d rather just jump off a bridge or in front of a truck than have to live simply existing.

I haven�t heard any news about the house in Bakersfield. I�m pretty sure we�re not getting any offers for it, what with the economy tanking. It�s super frustrating because I just want that damn house sold already. At this point I�d take pennies on the dollar, but still no one is offering anything. I�m to the point that I�m just ignoring it. The property tax will be coming soon and part of me thinks, �why even bother paying it?� I don�t want this stupid thing. Maybe I�ll just give it to my father�s �actual� family. I�ve already voiced my indifference towards my father. Right now I wish he hadn�t left me that stupid house. It�s complete worthless to me as it stands right now. The money, well, I definitely need it, but I certainly don�t want it. To have that house sold is to finally be free of a certain element. I�ll finally be able to just cut off that part of my family once and for all. It can�t happen fast enough.

And now, an open letter to Baja Fresh.

Baja Fresh, I have eaten at your establishment for the last time. Friday August 22nd I walked from work to a local food court and thought of giving your restaurant one more chance. I�ve eaten at your establishment a few times, each time disappointed. I�m not entirely sure why I gave your place so many chances to disappoint me, but I have. As I was saying, I went in and ordered the taquitos hoping that perhaps I could find something among the many bland things on your menu that I could actually find tasty. I got my taquitos and before taking a bite I tried the small portion of rice and beans that comes along with it. One taste and I knew I was going to be completely disappointed with the rest of the meal. Beans and rice is one of my favorite dishes, but the ones I was served were bland and undercooked. I tried adding some flavor to them by adding one of your salsas, but that didn�t help at all. I then moved on to the taquitos, which I figured wouldn�t be that bad. I�ve had taquitos from the freezer section of the market that have been good. Suffice to say I have NO idea how your concoctions can turn a style of food that is flavorful and a favorite among many into a banal and flavorless joke. Not only will I not visit your establishment ever again, but I will discourage others from going. Taco Bell, which has no basis in authentic Mexican food, is a thousand times better than Baja Fresh. Thanks for nothing.

That being said, on to something else. I�ve been writing lately, something I hope will be my masterpiece. I�m pretty much giving it my all. I will have nothing else to write about after finishing this project. I�m leaving it all on the table. What am I writing about? It�s hard to just say it because it�s really just everything that I think needs to be said, but isn�t. I vent here, to my friends, to just about anyone who will listen. But, to put it in the whole is different. I think you can best describe it as the grand unifying theory of why everything sucks. Yeah, that�s what it�s about... how everything is ruined by someone, how there is no god, and how the world is doomed. Pleasant read huh? Yeah, I hope you buy two copies.
End Communication.

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