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Existing isnít Living -- 08.24.08
ďThis is your life, and itís ending one minute at a time.Ē - Fight Club

Work is work, not good or bad, it isnít much of anything... it just is. That pretty much sums up this entire year actually. I can only speak for myself, but I would say that this year has pretty much sucked so far. Last year had itís ups and downs, but for the most part it wasnít as pointless as this year has been. Good or bad last year was one thing or the other. When things were good (a rarity I will add), things were good. When they were bad, well, you know where Iím going with this, when they were bad they were bad. This year has just been. Iíve just existed this year, nothing more. Thatís pretty shameful if you ask me. The worst thing is that I notice that everyone at work is also just existing. Thatís not the fate I want. Work is work, but life should not be in the margins. If this is the way you want to live then so be it. I rather not. Iíd rather just jump off a bridge or in front of a truck than have to live simply existing.

I havenít heard any news about the house in Bakersfield. Iím pretty sure weíre not getting any offers for it, what with the economy tanking. Itís super frustrating because I just want that damn house sold already. At this point Iíd take pennies on the dollar, but still no one is offering anything. Iím to the point that Iím just ignoring it. The property tax will be coming soon and part of me thinks, ďwhy even bother paying it?Ē I donít want this stupid thing. Maybe Iíll just give it to my fatherís ďactualĒ family. Iíve already voiced my indifference towards my father. Right now I wish he hadnít left me that stupid house. Itís complete worthless to me as it stands right now. The money, well, I definitely need it, but I certainly donít want it. To have that house sold is to finally be free of a certain element. Iíll finally be able to just cut off that part of my family once and for all. It canít happen fast enough.

And now, an open letter to Baja Fresh.

Baja Fresh, I have eaten at your establishment for the last time. Friday August 22nd I walked from work to a local food court and thought of giving your restaurant one more chance. Iíve eaten at your establishment a few times, each time disappointed. Iím not entirely sure why I gave your place so many chances to disappoint me, but I have. As I was saying, I went in and ordered the taquitos hoping that perhaps I could find something among the many bland things on your menu that I could actually find tasty. I got my taquitos and before taking a bite I tried the small portion of rice and beans that comes along with it. One taste and I knew I was going to be completely disappointed with the rest of the meal. Beans and rice is one of my favorite dishes, but the ones I was served were bland and undercooked. I tried adding some flavor to them by adding one of your salsas, but that didnít help at all. I then moved on to the taquitos, which I figured wouldnít be that bad. Iíve had taquitos from the freezer section of the market that have been good. Suffice to say I have NO idea how your concoctions can turn a style of food that is flavorful and a favorite among many into a banal and flavorless joke. Not only will I not visit your establishment ever again, but I will discourage others from going. Taco Bell, which has no basis in authentic Mexican food, is a thousand times better than Baja Fresh. Thanks for nothing.

That being said, on to something else. Iíve been writing lately, something I hope will be my masterpiece. Iím pretty much giving it my all. I will have nothing else to write about after finishing this project. Iím leaving it all on the table. What am I writing about? Itís hard to just say it because itís really just everything that I think needs to be said, but isnít. I vent here, to my friends, to just about anyone who will listen. But, to put it in the whole is different. I think you can best describe it as the grand unifying theory of why everything sucks. Yeah, thatís what itís about... how everything is ruined by someone, how there is no god, and how the world is doomed. Pleasant read huh? Yeah, I hope you buy two copies.
End Communication.

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