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I am not a number, I am a Free man! -- 09.10.08
 
ďWe all live in a little VillageÖ Your village may be different from other people's villages but we are all prisoners.Ē - Patrick McGoohan

I can tell there are changes coming, theyíre in the air. Like right now Iím sitting here, moments away from going to sleep, with a cool breeze entering through the window. I canít wait for Fall to show up. What Iím really looking forward to is Winter this year, Iím sick of the heat. I want to wear some of my sweaters, my nice coat. I want to have to carry an umbrella everywhere I go. Iím ready for a real rain to wash the scum off the streets, a real good hard rain.

These days Iím looking for joy in the small things, and thankfully itís working. I have wanted to go to a place called Prince Edward Island for a long time. A few years ago I went so far as to send for some travel brochures. I still have those brochures. Sunday I went onto my ING account and opened a new savings account called PEI fund, which will be the basis for me finally going up to the island. It will probably take me a million years since I plan on saving very little right now. I canít really afford to save too much. But, eventually Iíll go, this I vow.

That last statement just made me think of something, but I canít share half an idea with you all. Suffice to say it was half an epiphany.

Moving on, I have decided that certain things no longer require my energy and/or my attention. From this point forward I will no longer pursue certain dead-end pursuits of the past. In the long run I have come to realize that deep down inside I may not actually want those things I say I do. And actually, now this is the half thought I said I wasnít going to talk about just yet. But, I guess I really DID want to talk about it... didnít I? I will say that Iíve gotten everything Iíve truly desired. Iíve been lucky in that way, and that knowledge keeps me happy even through horribly trying times.

And now I get how nothing is a mistake. That knowledge might free me, or it might not. I suspect that if I want to be truly free then I shall be. That brings another thought to mind, one that I will not share with you at all this time. Iím saving that one for something else Iím writing... that damn book of mine. I will say this, contentment equals pointlessness.

Iím good and bitter... the perfect elixir to write brilliantly. Once I was blind and now I see.
End Communication

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