The past week was a financial mess. In a weekís time my debt more than doubled because of a stupid sewer pipe being broken. Now my aunt and I are in austerity mode right now because of this huge bill. I wonít go into how much I owe, but suffice to say itís quite a bit. If only that damn house I inherited would sell. All problems would melt away, but Iíve said that before. Iím looking for a new realtor.
And now, a moment for something that needs to be said. Iíve been drafting this for a while. I think itís ready to be posted, and here it is.
I write this as a declaration, and a cautionary tale, of my formal bachelor for life status. Through many failures I have withstood the urge to simply give up and no longer pursue the fairer sex because I thought that some day I would find one who would understand and cherish me. After so many failures I no longer think that this idea is a viable one. I have, as a matter of fact, collected evidence to the contrary. Coming to this conclusion I am now ready to divorce myself from the delusion that has only served to be an albatross. I formally declare that:
1) I will not actively, or passively, pursue any woman. On the contrary, I will actively resist falling for any woman.
2) I will actively, and consciously, avoid becoming emotionally attached to any woman.
3) I will not ask any woman out on a date.
4) I will focus the energy that I would have used to pursue a relationship on my art, my writing, and anything else that will bring me true fulfillment.
5) I will devote myself to making being alone not be lonely.
I vow these things from this moment on, to the whole god-less world. For my endeavors with women have lead to nothing but misunderstandings, ill feelings, and terrible heartache. I have witnessed the death of my Mother and Grandmother before my eyes. Those two events taught me some important lessons. One of the lessons I learned is to know when one is beaten. After each failure I have dusted myself off and resolved to try again. But to continually get up, get beaten, and rise up again to fight is madness. So I will stop this cycle of madness right here and now. I shall be a bachelor for life, now by my own choice. I shall direct my life away from the idea of romance, for the aforementioned reasons, and for my own sanity. I have done my best and it was simply not good enough. It is time to realize that I have been beaten by the indifference of women to me and move on with my life. I have found happiness in knowing that from this point forward I need not carry this burden.