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More, More, NO MORE! -- 11.22.08
 
I should REALLY stop staying ďit canít get any worse.Ē Because the Universe continually one ups itself by showing me that things CAN and WILL get worse. I really just need to have things go right for once. The hemorrhaging of money continues. My aunt and I borrowed $2,500 from her uncle in order to not put so much on our credit cards. But then today he came by and said that he needed his money in about three weeks time. So now we have to come up with $2,500 in that amount of time or else. Heís not very loose with his money, and really he has a right not to be. It is his money. So on top of all that we have to make a big ballon payment, in essence, on that big debt. This sucks!

The worst part is that there is a solution to all these financial problems, but that is stuck in the mire as well. The house my father gave me is a potential lifesaver, but I canít get it off my hands because the real estate market tanked. Right now Iím looking for a new realtor. The previous one tried, I guess, to sell the house. But the main problem isnít so much the asking price, itís the financing. Anyone in that price range canít qualify for a loan right now. So Iíll have to settle for about half of what we were asking for last year. Believe me, Iím not greedy, half is 100% more than I ever thought Iíd have. This is basically found money because my father left me this house. Having that cash in hand would wipe out all my debt, clear the slate, and potentially also pay for this Masters program Iím applying for.

All this and today is the one year anniversary of my father passing away. So much has changed in that year. A year ago I was still working at Crappy Ralphís. There was the potential of so many great things, and then he gets sick and dies. After that I got word that I got the jobs I currently have, meaning that I could quit Ralphís. Which, I did, as soon as I got back from my fatherís funeral. After that my work life took off, I love my San Marino job, and sorta like my Glendale job. My emotional life went into the tank though, but who cares about that stuff. A year later thereís the potential of so much more once again. As I said before, Iím applying for a Masters program, and if the house gets sold I could wipe out all my debt.

Emotionally Iíve made my peace with the events of last year, my failures with women and to establish some sort of report with my father are now on the ash heap of my history. Both are gone from my life, but from the ashes comes the potential. And thatís what Iím holding out for, the potential of everything to suddenly turn around. Quite honestly it better happen soon, because I really canít hold on much longer. My head is barely above water right now. One more surprise and Iím pretty much going to drown.

Last year I submitted some of my work to the Brand library, who had an open call for art submissions. I sent them what I thought was some of my best work. They didnít. This year Iím preparing to send them some other work, some new and some old. Iím planning on sending them some pictures Iíve taken with my fisheye camera, and some that I did on my now non-functional scanner. Hopefully they will be eclectic enough to merit hanging on their gallery walls. Knowing how things are, theyíll love them.

So yeah, thereís a lot on my plate and not all of it good. But there is that huge potential out there. If only I could break free of this back luck muck. Hopefully, because I was actually looking into selling my blood. I looked into it and it would seem that I could get about $20 a pop, maybe $25, depending where I would go. If Iím spending about $5 to get there and back it really leaves something to be desired. I rather go into work tomorrow and ask if they could give work a few extra hours. That would actually be about twice the money Iíd be getting from my blood. ARGH! Everything sucks right now.

End Communication.

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