|I was moments away from writing another ďartist statementĒ for a submission to the Brand library gallery, when I thought better of it. Last week I came to the decision that since no one appreciates my photography I would just not promote it anymore. Iím going to still be posting pictures on my site, but I wonít actively tell people about it. I give people my card and they look at it, promise to go on the site sometime, and then they donít. I made the site that I share with random people smaller in order to avoid this, but I guess thatís not good enough. So Iím not going to try. This year is a year of contractions. Iím not going to go on making the same mistakes as in the past. This year is a year of purging that. Iím setting myself up for what comes next. Iím not seeking a relationship, nor am I going to be seeking the approval of my art work. I spent too long pointing things out to people only to have them deliberately turn the other way. Either out of spite, or who knows what. So I wonít be submitting my work to a group that showcases untalented work by pedestrians and halfwits.
I have found absolution and redemption within myself. I was sick last week, missing two days from work. Itís strange how one forgets what it feels like to not be sick so quickly. At least I felt that way, who cares about you. While I was sick I thought about how that ailment was the last purging of anything to do with 2008 (that horrible year). The new year doesnít start on Jan 1st, it starts later, when you get back to the grind but youíve made the decision to really change things. It happens when you see things clearly and you ask yourself, ďwhy wasnít I doing things like that in the past?Ē I got a call from a friend the just after new years telling me her plans for the new year. We all start the year with good intentions, but rarely do we actually keep our resolutions. There was even an article in todayís NY Times about how most of us will fall back our old way sooner than later. Most people will fail to keep their resolutions by mid February, says the article. Change isnít an easy thing. But for those who actually do fight and change the rewards are there.