previous entry   /  newest   /  archive   /  next entry

Better, definitely better -- 01.22.09
 
So far 2009 has already been better than all of 2008. Of course thereís still a LONG ways to go this year. But during my illness a couple of weeks back I felt that I figuratively purged the last of 2008 out of my body. The illness was just strange in that I simply felt terrible. I donít think it was a cold, or any kind of flu, but it was definitely some virus. All I know is that I felt terrible for three days. But when I woke up on Saturday I knew that it was the last of 2008 leaving my body.

Iíve decided that this year is the year of contraction, in which I eliminate everything unnecessary in my life and focus on the things that make ME happy. Thatís actually a lot of things. Suffice to say Iím always about me, but this year is my year to really clean out everything thatís stupid in my life.

There are a few negatives though, and one of them was a recent work evaluation from my Glendale job. Iíve already said that Iím not the apple of anyoneís eye there, and now I have written proof of that fact. Hereís the evaluation:

Eric is assigned to shelve, unload books in the sorting area, shelf read, and various library related tasks. In general, he performs the tasks well. On many occasions, Eric was observed to be involved in lengthy personal conversation with co-workers. He was asked to stop this behavior but made very little change. Eric must realize that his involvement with lengthy conversations with others causes lower work production. He must make improvement immediately.

First off, as I was typing that up I noticed the grammatical errors. But, what can I say? I must be the worst human being in the world, but also a super human because I still get all my tasks done despite talking. Look, the days of me putting any effort into this job are long gone. Right now things are tough, so Iím sticking with this for now. I stuck around Ralphís for months after I graduated because I HAD to, not because I wanted to. As soon as I found a new job I bolted. Iím planning my escape as we speak, but itís not going to be easy. The economy is in the tank, and itís best to stay put until they throw me out. Thereís always some work for a guy who is willing to work, so Iím not afraid of that. Itís just that the bills are stacking up, and this despite the fact that I am working two jobs.

But just Wednesday I got the papers to finally sell the house. Iím not getting anywhere what I was expecting two years ago, but right now that sum of money is going to help a LOT. It will wipe out some debts, and help mitigate others. Certainly this isnít a magic bullet, since all the money Iíll get is already allocated towards outstanding debt.

So back to the elimination of things from my life subject. For a little time I started to faultier and become interested in someone. This is going against my new manifesto, and for a while I thought that maybe I should amend my manifesto to reflect my new way of thinking. But then I thought again, and reminded myself why I choose this way. Itís precisely because Iím a fool, and because Iíll fall for someone, that I shouldnít go back on my idea now. In the past Iíve dusted myself off from my failures with women only to get up and fail once more. I vowed not to do that, and here I am considering doing just that. I must be strong and resist the allure of women, because going down that path will mean my downfall. My heart has not become more blunt through the trauma of love, quite the opposite. I feel that now Iím more vulnerable than ever. So I MUST stick to my guns and not faultier.

And I say this because I considered asking one of my co-workers out on a date. But I now realize that itís all a terrible trap that will only lead to my emotional demise.

Lastly, I bought a new iPhone app a couple of weeks ago that I love. Most of the apps on the iPhone are good, but not great or practical. This one is great. The app I bought takes multiple pictures, like one of those toy cameras with the multiple lenses, and assembles them into a grid. Here is the result.

This app has quickly become my most used. I have taken so many pictures, pictures that I will be posting on my site. This one was taken on Wilshire blvd. on a recent trip to the country museum of art. Suffice to say, I think itís cool and I love it.

End Communication.

previous entry   /  newest   /  archive   /  next entry

american ecstasy   /  diaryland