Maybe I shouldnít be declaring that this is the Winter of my discontent because a statement like that is liable to jinx the whole thing. But I think that itís at least a little apropos since I got some really good news this week. On Thursday I received an email stating that my appeal had gone through and I had been accepted into library school.
The excitement didnít hit me at first. It took a little time, and it was tempered since I was wondering if it was really for real. But, after writing back to see if there had been some sort of mistake, and it was confirmed that I had made it, I was smiling from ear to ear. For the last year and a half Iíve had what seemed like nothing but bad luck.
A few days ago I was drafting this entry and I wrote the following:
The days are melting into one another. Nothing is distinct about them anymore, and thatís horrible. Everyone I know is miserable because their lives become one big work week. And itís all because we all have to ďmake a living.Ē Itís true, we have to eat, make sure we have a roof over our heads and such. But is mind-numbing jobs the one and only way to accomplish that? It would seem that it is. Iíve fallen into this cycle of menial tasks in a menial job and I honestly just want to run. Iím not sure how all of us continue to allow ourselves to be treated like this at our jobs. But, itís what keeps the ship from totally capsizing.
My jobs are now just that, jobs. The redeeming qualities of both are now gone. Glendale started out as a dream. Today itís a place I dread going because of the monotony and boredom. Every Thursday and Friday Iím like a zombie. I feel tired, sleepy, irritated, and cranky. I feel completely ill at ease.
With the news that I got into library school also came the good news from El Patron that heís going to give me my old job back, if I want it. And hell yes I want it. Iíve been away from that job for nearly two years now, and Iíve missed it ever since. That was the BEST job I ever had. And now Iíll have the opportunity to return, and also escape my Glendale job.
Let me boil it down to this phrase... Iím happy. For the first time in over a year I am nothing but happy. The happiness isnít tempered by something bad, itís pure right at this moment. Maybe this is the tide turning. Maybe.