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Anyone out there? -- 05.23.09
 
I�m nearly 100% sure that no one actually reads what I write here, but it doesn�t matter. There was a time when I was writing things here for an audience, but that was a while back. I think that was a bad period, because I filtered myself and wrote to the �audience� I thought was reading this. Now it�s just for me, a record of things so to speak. If someone happens to stumble upon this well then read it if you want, it�s alright by me.

Here are a few random things I wanted to mention:

The other day I went onto Gizmodo dot-com to check out the daily update and I found a really funny article about someone finding Paddington Bear on one of the Google maps street views (see below).

Yup, that�s Paddington Bear waving to you. I came to find out that Mr. Bear is standing just outside of The British Museum. I wonder if he was visiting the museum or just taking a walk.

I was shelving some books yesterday when I came upon this one...

Sylvia Brown is the worst kind of charlatan, because she preys on people�s hopes and gullibility. She has no �powers� to speak of, other than the power to make people believe she has some sort of connection to �spirits� and �ghosts.� I understand that some people can�t handle the death of their love ones. It�s perhaps the hardest thing I�ve had to come to grips with. I feel sorry for those who can�t let go and continue to fill the coffers of this vial woman, and her kind. To call her a charlatan is not enough, she is an out and out snake oil salesman/woman. She sells cold readings couched in good feelings that our love ones are in a better place sitting around on a fluffy cloud, eating chocolates, and waiting around for us to arrive. Mark Twain made a good point about how heaven is always this benign place of absolute boredom. The last thing I want to do is sit around playing a harp all day long waiting for the next person who dies to arrive. Never has anyone from �beyond� ever talked about visiting the rings of Saturn, unencumbered by the physical restraints that keep us from doing so. Never has anyone come back to speak of the early universe, what it�s like on the surface of the sun, or anything remotely cool. In short, no one has come back from, as Shakespeare described, �The undiscovered country.� There are two reasons for this. One, it is impossible for them to return to this plane of existence... or... this is it, there is no other plane of existence. You either believe that you go somewhere and continue existing, or you don�t. I�m not even sure that we have a soul to go anywhere, let alone that said soul travels �up� to heaven (or �down� to hell) and stays there for all eternity.

A while back I said that I needed to go on a �spiritual journey,� to find out what the hell this is all about. I have certainly not ended that journey, but even in a short amount of time I have come to some conclusions, all of which have, ironically, made me feel better.

Reality is the here and now, not the past, not the future, not the spiritual, but the here and now. Time is a strange thing in that it seems to only travel in one direction, but perhaps is doesn�t travel at all. That�s a hard one to explain here, but I will some time in the future.

There is no God, or at least not the one written in the bible, koran, or anything else. I see NO evidence of a God that created all things, or gives a damn about us. I seek no absolution, for there is nothing to be absolved of. Nor do I seek an imaginary God that supposedly watches over me, but never intervenes on my behalf, yet wishes undying devotion, even while not granting it in return. I seek nothing from dogma, for its answers are based on superstition and ignorance. I have found no evidence of a creator, or a benevolent God, or of anything not based on randomness.

We suffer because of the actions of others. Everyone in this damn stupid city (world) is out for themselves, and it causes everyone to hate everyone else. It�s so rare to find someone of complete goodness in this world now that it might as well be deemed a miracle when it happens. We we devoted just a moment to the thoughts and feelings of that other person in the next lane, next seat, next door, we wouldn�t be so miserable.

But whatever, I can�t fix the world�s problems because I freely admit to adding to them. I�m staying away from people as much as possible in order to not add to the world�s problems, but the world won�t allow that. It seems that me retreating is a sign that I�m no longer a potential punching bag, and nearly everyone I know says it... �Don�t stay in your cave,� even though secretly that�s what THEY want to do as well.

One last thing before I stop writing. Earlier this week I wrote a girl on one of those dating sites, one that a friend of mine recommended. Suffice to say I didn�t get a response, which is EXACTLY what I expected. But, expecting someone to happen doesn�t lessen the feelings when it actually does happen. I started this year saying that I wouldn�t be pursuing a relationship with anyone, only to be thwarted by my own loneliness. Well now I best make that first promise stick because any and all prospects in this city are not interested in me. Whatever my failings are they must be monstrous and ignominious, like a flashing red light sitting above my head warning all the world to my shortcomings. Funny, I thought I was a good guy. Oh well. Time to go do something.
End Communication.

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