As you may or may not remember, I had a gallery showing at work. The show is now over, and I found a new home for my photos... my room (shown below). I spent about $500 printing and framing my work, so I think that I�m entitled to have them up in my room. I made a decision about my photographs. Only a few people truly appreciate them. I find that I have to practically force people to check out my photo site. So from now on I�ll mention my photos and site to people and if they don�t go so be it. It�s their loss, not mine. Besides, I take photos for myself. I wanted to share that vision with others, but it would seem that the world is too busy, or too self-absorbed, or too something, to care to view my work for even a second. So, I won�t force it down anyone�s throat anymore. It�s there, it exists, if you want to go see it I thank you. If not then that�s fine too. Inaction has been my method of operation this year. I found that I used a lot of energy trying to talk to people, convince them, set them straight if you will, to no avail. The message is clear, it�s not worth the time. People are less worth my time now more than ever. One of the things I have been able to let go in the last few years is the inability to not miss someone. Certainly my Grandmother�s death taught me that lessen more than anything. Losing her was the moment when the volume got turned down. This week I was talking to someone and I wanted to voice something to them, but I knew that it would simply go over their heads, so I didn�t mention it. But what I was going to talk to them about was this effect that I contribute to things just getting worse. Food doesn�t have any taste anymore. Events don�t move me like they used to. There are things that do move me, and I know those things to be significant. This disparity between nothing and awe is what I use as a gauge these days. But it�s imperfect because it�s all or nothing. There seems to be no, or little, gray area. It�s something I�m working on. Suffice to say more and more things don�t seem to move me. What does move me comes on like a huge wave of emotions. Strange. Last week I started the Spring semester of this Masters thing. This coming semester promises to be a tough but interesting semester. I�m not sure how I�ll find the time to do all the work required, but I know I can do the work. Now I�ll also have to worry about how to pay off yet another bit of debt, the student loan I got for school. No time to worry about that now though. End Communication. |
