previous entry   /  newest   /  archive   /  next entry

Finally, Real Life -- 08.11.10
It's been over two months since I last wrote an entry.† I've wanted to, but then I end up doing something else, like working photos or something.

Lately actual real life has gotten in the way of me taking a few minutes to jot down a few thoughts here.

The big event happened a little over two weeks ago.† A woman that I've been interested in for a while now invited me out to lunch.† The night ended with us consummating a new relationship.† I wonder now if this thing is just a "fuck buddy" situation (to be blunt), or if it has potential for more.† I think it does, but I've been burned in the past before.† Matter of fact, I told myself a couple of weeks before all this happened that I was a fool for even getting involved with women.† I had been on one of those dating sites looking for someone.† I emailed a few woman, and was rejected each time.† So I gave myself until the end of July to get a response.† But then a week before the end of the month I decided to jump the gun and delete my account early.† I figured that there was no use waiting that extra time.† I had already tried to get something going, and had failed miserably.† So, it was time to just give up once and for all. I truly gave up any hope of finding anyone.† And then the Universe took "mercy" on me and sent this wonderful woman my way.† We've been flirting for at least a year and a half now, but I was too afraid to make a move.† Thankfully she finally made the move.† Now we're... well, we're something.† I still have my shields up, because I don't want to get too emotional.† Having been burred in the past it's not my intention to get burned again. But, I know that if I have any change at finding happiness it has to involve me lowing my shields.† Because these things demand a full commitment.† And despite being burned over and over again I'm still willing to stick my neck out to be cut off.† It's the only way to live.† † So we'll see where this goes. All I know is that I REALLY like this woman, and she likes me.† Beyond that, quite frankly I'm not thinking of that right now. Iím simply enjoying this.

End Communication.

previous entry   /  newest   /  archive   /  next entry

american ecstasy   /  diaryland