Last week wasnít easy. But in talking to TheGirl I have come to the conclusion that her going off with some guy is her prerogative. I donít like it, because I know what this so-called friend of her ultimately wants from her. But me not wishing it so isnít going to change that fact. Nor will it change the fact that she might want to be with him more than with me. But this weekend we rekindled something that was missing. The passion. I have never wained in my passionate love for TheGirl. She might have, and she still might. But at the end of the day I have told her enough times that I love her... and meant it whence in the past it was not meant, and somehow convinced her that life with me is a roller coaster of emotions. But that my love is absolutely without question the most resolute she will find.
OK, perhaps I did not convince her that much. But at least we have come to an understanding. I understand that this thing about hanging with this ďfriendĒ of hers over ever other weekend is a temporary thing. Soon she will see that his motives arenít pure. Soon he will make a pass at her and she will reject him... I hope. If she doesnít Iíll walk away and Iíll mention to her that she threw away THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO HER IN HER LIFE. And I will let her know that she royally fucked up, and hurt someone that never hurt her.
Iím trying to give TheGirl all the same she needs and wants. Sheís going through a lot, and I donít want to burden her with more. She is going away again this weekend with her buddy. She mentioned yesterday during lunch that she doesnít know how much longer she will do this, because she canít afford the gasoline prices. That made me feel better. But t doesnít solve the main problem. I intend on not texting her this weekend. My friends have all said that she needs to miss me. She needs to not have me so readily available. Because that only shows that she can treat me any which way she wants and Iíll still stick around. I will, but she canít know that. By being less available, so goes my friendís advice, she will realize what sheís missing. I hope so.