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More responsible, and more time -- 01.20.13
 
Itís been a couple of weeks since I last wrote. Been super busy with work and when I havenít been busy Iíve just been too tired to write. Itís a shame because so much has been going on... kinda.

First off work stuff. My Glendale continues to give me more responsibility. They already told me that this coming Tuesday theyíre going to ďtrainĒ me so I can be here for events. From time to time the auditorium is rented out for events. Some of them have nothing to do with any library functions. But someone needs to be in the building when these events take place. The fella that used to be the go-to guy has himself a full time job now, so heís not going to be available any more. So theyíre going to train three people to work these events. They are pretty easy events to work on, pretty much sit and make sure nothing goes wrong. Then leave the building, making sure that everything is locked up nice and tight. More hours means more money, which is what I need. Also, since I donít spend much time with TheGirl is also gives me something to do. Win-win.

Speaking of TheGirl, we had dinner on Friday. We went to Doomieís in Hollywood. she was craving that stuff. I wanted to spend some time with her, so I said I would go. But really the place isnít my cup of tea any more. The food is good, but the service only gets worse every time we go. The sad thing is that this time the dinner started out great. We ordered our food in a timely fashion, received our drinks with a good amount of ice, and were served relatively fast. Then it all went downhill after that. I finished my Coke, but did anyone come over to refill my cup? Not for a half hour. And then the other people in my party were not asked if THEY wanted a refill. So I was the only person at the table that received a refill. And only long after I had finished my drink. Speedy service it was not. Also, they always seem to forget to bring the salad out before the main course. The person in my party that ordered her salad had to ask for it after the main course had been served. And then it took a million years to get the check. I had to literally wave down the waiter to get our check. Bad. On top of that, and this is something the restaurant has no control over, the strip mall now has valet only parking in their parking lot. That is total bullshit. I hate it when places charge for parking when Iím brining them business.

Speaking of TheGirl, part two: I donít know if I mentioned this but I have booked our room for our next trip to Big Sur in April. No idea what will happen between then and now. I would not be surprised if I ended up going up there alone. At the same time, I wouldnít be surprised if by that time the would be practically married to TheChisel.

However, she did mention to me the other night that she cares for me WAY more than she does TheChisel. The every day evidence doesnít seem to pan that out. However, to make plans so far in advance means she knows things arenít progressing to that point with TheChisel. She explicitly said so the other night. She is just having ďa good timeĒ with him. Another thing that came out is that despite feeling love for me she couldnít stay with me because I ďdidnít have ambition.Ē I just donít fit her mold of a man that will take care of her, spoil her, and perhaps let her quit her job. But I never signed up to be those things, especially since there was zero chance of us getting married. She said she never wanted to get married again. In my mind that set a line of demarcation. A line that said, we can be a couple, but ultimately weíre still living our separate lives. That was fine by me, because I like having an independent life. I loved TheGirl, and spending as much of my free time as possible. Nevertheless, I also enjoyed the time I was away. I missed her, but it made the time together all the better.

My point of all this is that she saw me as a man that was incomplete. Ironically, since the time she last left me for this dope I have promised myself to make this year different. Not just in terms of talk, because I do a lot of that. But actually make some progress in my photography. Get out there and look for another job. Maybe go back to school and use the little free time that I used to spend with TheGirl to better myself now that I have that spare time.

End Communication.

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