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A solo outing -- 02.10.13
 
Saturday I took myself to the Norton Simon, followed by a visit to Heritage square. TheGirl has company this weekend, which for all I care can be every weekend. Before I go into my visit to Norton Simon I just want to state that Iíve moved on. Thoughts of her wickedness still make me want to punch a wall, but as far as setting aside any time for her thatís done. I have made up my mind that Iím moving on with my life. A year ago she was everything. I spent nearly all my free weekends with her. I would sleep over on Friday night and continue the weekend until Sunday evening. All the time not thinking of all the problems in the world, or anything. Just being with her, and focusing my energy towards that was fulfilling. Jump to today. Sheís out of my life. I look back fondly at those times, but Iím not going to wallow in them. Iím putting them out of my mind as best as possible. Iíve made plans for nearly every weekend this month, and if TheGirl is in town and invites me to something I might go or I might not. Iím done with waiting around for her. Being her friend isnít very fulfilling. As a matter of fact itís only torture because I think of how it was in the past. So Iím going to slowly slip out the back door of her life, despite whatever bullshit she says about needing me in her life as a stabilizing influence. I could possibly do that once Iím completely over her, and the pain of the last few months is long gone. Perhaps in a yearís time, perhaps longer. All I know if that from this point forward Iím walking away, and pretty soon there will be a mileís distance between us, and then more each day.

* * * * * *

The Norton Simon is such a little treasure right in my backyard. There is a self portrait of van Gogh on loan until March that I HAD to view (pictured below).

Van Gogh represents the tragedy and triumph of art to me. The tragedy because during his lifetime she painted such incredible works and he thought himself a failure because he only sold two of his paintings. He just wanted people to SEE the beauty that he saw. When I show people my photographs and they just say something like ďniceĒ I want to literally shove their faces into the photo and tell them, ďNice?! Fuck you and nice! This is a moment of perfection, a moment that you miss out on because youíre too busy on Facebook, or too busy staring at your feet to notice.Ē I want people to say wow to my work, to find a photo I took to be nearly life changing. I want people to realize that there is beauty all around them. All they have to do is look. I look, and my photos are what I find. Itís not some gift given to me, itís just the ability to see the world how it is.
The triumph of van Gogh is that the world now does see his work as that of genius and appreciates it as such. It is messed up that he didnít get to know that aspect of his artistic life. I think it would have brought him some joy to know that his works, his view of the world, was celebrated and enjoyed.

After the Norton Simon I nearly went home, but I told myself that I was going to this Heritage square thing and I wasnít going to let myself miss it because of some apathetic feeling. So I jotted down the 110 and found myself in front of Heritage square within minutes. I paid my $10 to get in and joined the tour that had just started. The houses on the lot were pretty cool to check out. The nicest was the Queen Anne styled ďHale House.Ē (pictured below).

I liked the tour, and only wish that there were more houses to check out. One modern type house from the 50s would have hit the spot real nice. Aside from the ďHale HouseĒ the highlight of the tour was the recreation of a pharmacy at the end of the lot. All the items inside were collected by a man named George A. Simons and then donated to the square.

* * * * * *

I drove home and decided to go to Target. I found my aunt there and we both went to Pollo Loco for dinner. While there a girl I knew in high school walked in. She was quite cute back in high school, and still looks relatively nice for our ages. I noticed that some of my classmates have aged really badly, while others are like Dorian Grey. I was like the latter, but graying hair has stolen my youth.

Tonight Iím going to win my bet against TheGirl. She invited me to dinner tonight, but Iíve been burned by this woman and her boyfriend not leaving until Monday bullshit. When we were still fuck buddies it really sucked, because it meant I wasnít going to get any. Now it doesnít matter if he stays forever. I bet her we wouldnít be having dinner tonight, knowing her track record. I bet her ice cream. If TheChisel doesnít leave tonight in time for us to have dinner itís no skin off my nose because I donít want to go to dinner. Iím saving money that way, and I can continue to distance myself from TheGirl. But, if I do win then Iíve cut his weekend short with her. In the grant scheme of things this certainly doesnít matter since heís spending next weekend with her. However, itís a small victory for me because I let the girl know that Iím not going to be around waiting for her. I told her that I didnít consider her invite as legitimate, and that I wasnít going to be waiting around on Sunday. I think she got the point. No matter what happens I win this bet.

End Communication.

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