| Today was OK, as days go. I'm a little drunk on rye whiskey as I write this, but thats OK. I drove out to work and was LATE yet again for harassment training. For some reason I'm always late to work these days. Well, for the last two weeks anyway. It's something that irks me, because I HATE being late. Training was what it always is, pointless and boring. It serves the purpose of indemnifying the city that employees me. Other than that not much is accomplished. Ten minutes after this thing we all go back to doing what we have always done. TheDesire texted me this morning, saying she was sorry that she didn't email me back yesterday. That's cool, I said. I know that we're both busy. Secretly I wanted her to tell me so many things in that email that I never got. Look.. I've had a HUGE crush on TheDesire for a long time. Even before I met TheGirl I saw TheDesire and told myself that I needed to know her somehow. In my life I've been able to get close to the objects of my desire. Only a couple of times have I been able to not only get close, but be intimate with these women that fill my heart with hope, happiness, and feelings of love. This girl, TheDesire, is special enough in my mind that I am willing to put aside the pain that TheGirl put me through and put my heart on the chopping block. I'm drunk, as I said before, so I'm sure that I'm rambling and repeating myself. What I'll say to cap this is that for the last year since TheGirl dumped me for the last time I have been single and enjoying that fact. I have tried to ask a couple of girls out on dates in that time. I have had mini crushes on a couple of girls. However, TheDesire isn't one that I've only fancied for a short time. I have thought of this conquest as the ultimate conquest. TheGirl was the unattainable before she was attained. I honestly thought that she was the last woman I was going to be with. That fell apart, and now I have this desire to make TheDesire the last woman I'm with. It may sound corny, stupid, old fashioned, but I want to love this woman with all my heart. Now, it may not happen. Though, I think that I have a solid chance. Nevertheless, this is a challenge that I am willing to take. I only wish I had the courage to tell her what I think. The worlds I have rehearsed are these.. "I pledge to you my industry.. my fidelity.. and my love." It's as simple as that. |
