Firstly... in three weeks it will be Thanksgiving. In three weeks Iíll be going to Carmel. In three weeks I hope to lay the foundations for a masterpiece. Three short weeks!
This has been quite a week. A good week, after some so-so weeks. I still donít know where I stand with TheDesire. I try texting her throughout the day, only to have to respond once in a blue moon. Iíve gone the emailing route, which is a little better in that at least she responds. Itís always late at night, like a few minutes ago in this case. What I really want to know is if she knows that these invites are because I like her. Iím pretty sure that she knows I like her. I havenít done a good job hiding that, and why should I? I like her, she should know it. Well, in so far as she is willing to do something about it. Wow... I just realized how much I like this girl. How much emotion Iíve invested in something that could go terrible. Something that could crush me. I like to think that TheDesire is worth this, if I can start and maintain a happy relationship with her. I want to make my move, but Iím too chicken.* * * * * *
I then went off to have traditional Wednesday night dinner with TheGirl yesterday. She was tired, she said. The entire night she was mopey, and in a bad mood. She apologized for being in said bad mood. I took Chan home with me again tonight. She asked if I wanted to adopt him. I told her no. But it is funny how that stuffed monkey is going to be a symbol for our crumbling friendship after relationship thing we have now. I'm important enough in her life that she has wanted to keep me around. I have been slow to move on and find someone since the break-up with TheGirl over a year ago. Since she was still my fuck buddy, that made moving on a little more difficult. We've been good friends since, and that also has made it hard to move on. Now that I have this want to pursue TheDesire my inclination to sustain this "every Wednesday after work" dinner is waining. I know that I will always love TheGirl. She opened up a great new world to me, as I did for her. Something like that couldn't last forever. It wasn't even supposed to last as long as it did. We've been able to sustain a friendship for as long as we have because I haven't wanted to make a pass at her. Ironically, I've moved on emotionally in the last few months more than she has. My friend H agrees with me that if I started dating TheDesire, or any girl, that TheGirl would feel pain and loss. I don't want her to feel pain, but I do need to live my life for me. That seems to be this week's theme.* * * * * *
One last little thing. Der Wienerschnitzel has commercials for their new seasoned curly fries (pictured above). GOOD job, Der Wienerschnitzel, for adding a menu item every other place added a decade ago. Dopes