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I should really update more often -- 08.21.14
My aunt asked me last night to set her alarm clock to 5am this morning, because she wanted to wake up early and go to visit my sick Godmother. To my surprise I woke up and went to the restroom to take a shower and saw her in the kitchen, eating. It was 6:15. I go in and take a shower, and of course I just KNOW that as soon as I get out she'll be outside the door doing that I gotta take a shit dance. Sure enough, she was. As I write this sentence it's 7am and she's STILL here! Why wake up two hours before just to piss away that early start by sitting around watching TV? She was awake, she should already be showered. But no.. dumb.

After I left for work I noticed on the surveillance camera we have outside that she didn't leave (pictured above). She didn't leave until 8:15am, when my cousin's husband drove her to the bus stop, I presume. I have NO idea why she wanted me to set her alarm for 5am when she could just sleep until I wake up, which is approximately 6:30. I just don't get it.

The route was pretty interesting today. I had an extra assignment to do today, pick up a wire rack and deliver it to another branch (pictured above). The branch I picked it up from is one I don't often visit. The branch I took it to was my old Monday branch, Montrose. I came in, spoke to the librarian/boss there for the first time in weeks. It's the most words we have exchanged perhaps in months.

The stop I was looking forward to was the one where I usually see TheDesire. This is probably the last week I'll see her on the route, since she's moving to Central. She said that when I entered the branch. "This is the last time I'll be sending stuff out." She was sending with me a pile of stuff to the other branch she worked until this promotion. I look at her and I'm in lust with her. I desire her body and mind. I do like her, and I could see myself falling in love with her very easily. I'm not sure I'm not already in love with her. She's never far from my thoughts. I want to write this book for her, to let her know how I feel about her. It won't get me anywhere, but I've been sending her "daily affirmations." And then I saw a note on her chair at her branch office, the one she will soon be leaving.

It said, "Today I have the strength and power to take action. Nothing will hold me back, because I am fearless. *heart* XOXO" I don't know where that note came from, if she wrote it herself, or if someone wrote it for her. It does give me an idea though. Still, perhaps I'm not the only one sending her affirmations. Damn, I still like her.

I had dinner with So-so and we chatted about the stuff going on in the office. There's always something going on. Like we talked about our supervisor, MicroManager, and how tired she really looks these days, and how stressed she seems to be. Also talked a little about TheDesire, and how people talk about her. I wonder what they think of me. Not that I care. Ha! I then visited with my buddy Dane before going home.

As I write this I'm in the house by myself. My aunt is currently with my Godmother. She worries that she's not well. She isn't well, but of course part of it is that she's ninety years old. And the other thing is that she has a severe hernia. My Godmother needs surgery, but she doesn't want to have it. The hernia is so bad that part of her intestines are coming out that area, and it causes her a lot of pain. But she doesn't trust doctors, so she's not having the operation. I will say that at her age anything like that could kill her. Maybe it's better not to have surgery. Then again, having surgery might not prolog her life, but she wouldn't be in pain. We'll see what happens.

Last night I had dinner with TheGirl. Dinner with TheGirl consisted of Pollo Loco. I ordered a yummy tostada and some enchiladas. I didn't finish the enchiladas, but I one of them for breakfast this morning. I didn't have anything in my stomach since lunch so the booze I drank at dinner really hit me. TheGirl mentioned that a certain someone broke one of her wine glasses. She mentions TheHusband's name freely, so the certain someone she means is TheChisel. Of course she always places him in a negative light, but again she DOESN'T STOP SEEING HIM. Her problems with him, if they really do exist, could easily be dealt with. STOP SEEING HIM. She could have made the move to her new place and not told TheChisel where she was living. But NOOOOOOO.. she has to invite him in, hang out every weekend with him, and generally still "date" him. Supposedly not sleeping with him, but she's also not sleeping with me. That's MY choice though, I doubt it's his choice. And she can't say she doesn't spend the entire weekend with him.

He posted a picture of him, TheGirl and her dog this weekend on his FB (above), saying how they had a wonderful walk in Long Beach. That to me belies what TheGirl says about him. I just let that reference to "someone" slide and didn't bring it up again. I pick and choose my battles better these days. My "seasoning," as TheGirl called it, has taught me it's better not to act.

Lastly, I posted the photo above on my various photo pages. I found it while doing my indexing project. I have taken so many photographs in the last decade that I now canít find what Iím looking for. That is, unless I go ahead and spend an hour looking for the photo through the various folders I have on my hard drive. The photo above is of McWay Falls in Big Sur. In the last week and a half Iíve put a lot of effort into my writing. Mainly because I NEED to write about my time in Big Sur. When the world as we know it is no longer here then it wont matter. Until that time I need someone out there, like you reading this right now, to appreciate what Iím saying about Big Sur. One person I knew in particular I need to thank for taking me up there... Angie. Yes, you, Angie. I know you are an occasional reader of my journal. Iím sorry I rejected your Facebook friend request years ago. At the time I couldnít deal with you. But I need to thank you in person for taking me up there. TheGirl believes that things happen for a reason. I donít. But, there is something that makes me want to believe things happen for a reason, and thatís my trip up to Monterey with you. If you remember my phone number I want you to call me on a Saturday. Weíll go drinking. THATíS another thing I have you to thank for... alcohol. It is QUITE wonderful. Iím a drunk now, if you didnít already guess from reading this journal of mine. If things happen for a reason then me writing this paragraph happened to reconnect with you. I donít want to argue, which is why I had to turn away from you. Our conversations went from interesting to just arguments. If you can make it to the Valley some day Iíd like to have a couple of drinks, on me. I now have the bread to pay for some drinks. Anyway, I need to drink another shot of whiskey and then jerk off, and then go to bed. I have work tomorrow, and then having drinks with a friend.

Oh wait. Big Sur. The photo above was taken about a year and a half ago, roughly. Big Sur is important to me. Big Sur has become more important than just about anything else in my life. My buddy and I were talking about camping up there. I think that itís a splendid idea. It would save on money, thatís for sure. A few dollars could go a long way if I camped up there instead of staying at a hotel. Speaking of, Iím going up there in November. I invited a girl from work, and she said yes. Well, technically she said yes if she could save the money for the trip. Since then Iíve changed my mind on going up there with her. Iíd still love to fuck her, but I donít want to take her up there. Itís too special a place. The one Iíd really like to take up there is TheDesire. Ha, thatís never going to happen though. Iím rambling, but itís the booze thatís keeping me going now. Time to post this.

End Communication.

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