I find that I suddenly don�t know where I�m going in life. The two jobs I sought out are up in the air. The parking job hasn�t called me back to say yay or nay. The library job hasn�t even started interviewing yet. ARGH! So now I have to deal with the prospect that I won�t get either of those jobs. I need to start looking somewhere else in order to feed myself. Damn stupid shit! Although, I did get an email from my realtor saying that we have a potential buyer for the Bakersfield house. If that goes through then I�m celebrating big time.It feels like everything in my life is in limbo. Having everything up in the air sucks so much because there isn�t anything solid to hold on to. The only thing that I have right now is my photography. It�s the only constant and solid thing, and I�m thankful to have at least THAT to ground me. You know what just came to mind that I find strange? I don�t have any photography buddies. Oh well.
On a totally unrelated subject, my VCR died. It�s been on the fritz for a while now, but the other night I put an old tape in the machine and had to push eject for five minutes before it would eject the tape. ARGH! Tape is so last century, but I do have a ton of things that I still have on VHS. I never liked that format, the second DVDs came out I was ready for the switch. A couple of years ago I wanted to convert all my tapes to DVD, but now I�ll have to get a new VCR for that. I didn�t throw the VCR out yet though, it�s still in my room. I�m going to throw it away, but it does seem strange that I didn�t throw it out right away. Hmm, what could that mean?
This subject reminds me of something, I haven�t had a �movie night� in a LONG time. Even before DVDs became big I didn�t rent tapes, I rented laserdiscs. Those huge discs were the DVDs of their time. Good quality picture, good sound, and no rewinding. I still like that old format because there are a lot of things that will never come out on DVD that came out on laserdiscs. My most cherished movies is the original Star Wars (now known as A New Hope). I have a copy that does not have all the new stuff added to it. It is how I want to see the movie, not some stupid new version that has random shit added to it.
So anyways, I want to revive my old tradition of movie night. I spent a nice deal of money a few years back putting up speakers all over my room to give me surround sound. But now I need to upgrade my TV and my stereo. The TV still looks great, but it�s small by today�s standards. The stereo is good but I need to upgrade to digital. Or maybe I�ll get a tube amp. LOL
I�m feeling mighty low right now. I�m trying to meditate myself out of this funk. I know what I need and funny enough it�s getting rid of need.
End Communication.
