|As I write this my aunt is sitting in my room like a bump on a log. ARGH! I donít know why she sits here. It makes me just want to go for a drive, anything as long as I can get away. I told a friend the other day that when I know she has a day off I almost rather go to work than sit around the house. I would rather sit around the house doing nothing, but she wonít let me do that because of this damn habit of sitting in my room. Fuck!* * * * * *
Itís been over three weeks since I took that ďskillsĒ test for the Santa Monica college library assistant job. Not hearing any news is not a good thing. This fucking sucks! I need a new job, this one would have been in my wheelhouse. * * * * * *
Yesterday I worked at both my jobs. In the morning I worked an event at Glendale, and in the afternoon I worked a shortened shift at San Marino.
Update... my aunt finally starts to get up and asks me if Iím busy. Ah, yeah. Then she says that sheís been waiting around for me to cut her hair. Why couldnít she just say that before? Fuck, Iím getting a haircut before I go up to Big Sur. More on Big Sur in a moment. Gotta play barber shop.
OK, done and done.* * * * * *
Last night after work I went over to LMís place and we went out to dinner (picture of the burger above), and then retired to her place. Weíve been playing ďfootsyĒ for the last few weeks. I figured she was my best chance at getting laid. Sure enough, when we went back to her place it was pretty much known that we were going to sleep together. We started, it was nice, and then when it came down to showtime my dick didnít perform. I was hard during foreplay, I was ready after fingering her for a little bit, to enter her. But within a minute I was soft and I couldnít get my erection back. Lots of things were a factor. The fact that her landlady came back home and LM isnít supposed to have any guests. The fact that I caught a whiff from ďdown there.Ē I donít mind it if itís nice or mild, but this wasnít either. So that was the big deal breaker. Even when I got hard again I caught another whiff and boom, limp city. So we tried one more time and that was it. Fucking shit. My first sexual encounter with a woman in nine months and I failed, hard. Or should I said, failed to get hard. What a fucking embarrassment. Let me amend something. The second time we tried she got on top of me and I was hard as a rock. But she didnít like that position because it hurt her. We returned to missionary, in which I hardly feel anything, and that made me limp again. Her on top felt REALLY good, but she didnít like it. So yeah, total fail. Such bullshit.* * * * * *
In more pleasant news, the other day I googled my website, American Ecstasy, and found that I was no longer in the top three. A movie by that name has taken over the entire first page of links on a google search. Iím now on second page. The movie, also named American Ecstasy, is apparently some erotic thriller/horror movie. I donít know, the trailer doesnít really make any sense.
The website partially describes the movie this way:
These young women are now heroines of the American Ecstasy, the new feature-length chiller from celebrated photographer and filmmaker Jonathan Leder. An anthology film exploring tales of resilient women snared in a single terrifying, hallucinatory nightmare, fates left gasping in the gloved hands of a mad everyman, this is the movie that will prove, once and for all, that the most monstrous of highway predators is America itself.
Another website I found describes the movie this way:
American Ecstasy... is a chilling, lo-fi account of the underreported, true-life occurrences of young women abducted along Americaís highways.
Hmm. I wonder if I should go and see it since it has a name similar to my website.
I just googled American Ecstasy again and Iím back on the first page of results. Woo!
On a related subject, there is a book named American Ecstasy by Barbara Nitke that is described on Amazon as: ďa memoir in pictures and words of the twelve years photographer Barbara Nitke spent shooting stills on porn movie sets in New York City.Ē
I need to put out a book.* * * * * *
My AT&T Universal credit card is all paid for. I donít owe them a dime! I have ZERO intentions of using that card ever again. The fucking thing charges something like 29% APR. There is NO WAY Iím ever going to pay that kind of APR ever again. Since I havenít used the card they sent me the following letter.
ďWeíve noticed there hasnít been any activity on your account recently.Ē No shit, Sherlock. Not when you charge more than a loan shark would. Bullshit! Take your 29% APR and shove it!* * * * * *
Miss Massachusetts on the Miss USA pageant, Sarah Kidd, is downright gorgeous. Hereís a screen capture of her on the pageant.* * * * * *
My co-workers think I should hit on this one patron that comes in and talks to me. Ah, sheís married. Iíve been there, done that. It can be fun being the other man. That is, until youíre found out. Iím still focusing my energies toward AE. I texted her last week, she was off in Chicago for a conference. This week she and I didnít text much. I keep trying to get her to have coffee with me. She mentioned this place, and even said we should go together, but she keeps avoiding actually going with me. Then she sends me this text the other day...
Downward spiral depression? Ah fuck! She has been in this ďspiralĒ for a while. The death of her brother hit her hard. Her boyfriend dumping her hurt her hard as well. I was a friend through the break-up, but sheís still not in a good place. I REALLY like her, and I want to plead my case that she should give me a chance. But perhaps this is a sign that I donít have a good chance with her, since sheís spiraling down to a bad place. I hope not, because I really like her and even if we never date I still want her to be in a good place.* * * * * *
Finally today, next weekendís Big Sur weather report.
Picture perfect weather! Oh my monkey, this trip is gonna be epic fun! I canít wait to post some pictures.