| Another Valentine's day... another Valentine's day alone. Well, that's the way I started this journal entry, but then I got a call from Talia. We had a great conversation that lasted for about two hours. This despite the fact that I had a really bad headache because I was smelling paint fumes all day long. Still, talking to Talia helped my headache. She was way nice to me... to the point that she told me twice that she loved me. Now, I've only had about three girls tell me that they loved me, and every time it's hard to say it back because I wasn't in love with them. I feel that if I let myself I could fall in love with Talia, but I've told myself not to do so because it's a bad proposition. Not because she isn't a nice girl, but because she knows that I like her and she some times uses that knowledge to keep me guessing. I was completely honest with her from the moment I met her, I liked her. So many times in the past I like a girl but I hide the fact that I want our relationship to be open to being more than just friends. This time I didn't, I told her my intentions from the start. I felt that even if we didn't get together that at least she would know where I stood. Anyway, today she quite explicitly told me where I stood. I was almost tempted to drive over to her house, despite the massive headache. She basically said that she wanted me to hang out with her. Which, I'm more than happy to. Suffice to say she clearly wants to more than just friends. Cool. Before this whole Talia thing happened today my mind wandered towards thoughts of HS. Mostly because school is starting up again next week, and I feel that I have some unfinished business with her. I've wanted to ask her out, but the age difference, among other things, have kept me from doing so. :( Still, I'd like to finally get this past me. Even if she rejects me, I'll know and I won't continue to pine away for this woman. Let's see if I'm able to well up the courage to go to her office. I have a couple of thoughts on a couple of different subjects. First, how come flies love to buzz around in people's faces? I was doing some painting today and there was a time in which I had this damn fly buzzing in my face. I shooed it away and yet it continued to fly around in my face. Fuck, why do flies love to buzz around people's faces? Can't they find a piece of shit on the ground to buzz around? Dammit! Secondly, I went to Carl's Junior today and bumped into the porn star Felicia. I couldn't help but look over towards her, she was quite stunning. I think she noticed that I was looking at her, so I tried to not look at her anymore. Nevertheless, I thought about saying hi to her. But, then I thought, wait, she doesn't need me talking to her as she picks up her Famous Star. |
