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Miss-ing the point -- 2002-09-21
 
I got a SACD player a couple of months ago and I've been listening to some of my old CDs on it. Right this moment I'm listening to my old Amplified Heart by Everything But the Girl.

How come popping bubble wrap is so addictive? I got some birthday presents earlier this week and in them there was some bubble wrap. I don't know what it is about that stuff that just begs you to pop, and pop, and pop every last bubble.

I watched the last hour of the Miss America pageant. It was the so-called 'talent' portion of the show. I saw one girl 'play' the violin. She played it with a detached, passionless, style that one could only hear the void in her performance. Next came a contestant doing a soliloquy. You know the kind, a over done, hammy monologue that's glazed in pure sap, and served with a side of overacting. That performance was followed by two 'singers.' I guess if you can't do anything else you can try to sing. Both women could sell there songs for 14 a pound because they butchered them like a hog. The last singer sang some tired old song that wasn't good when it was written 400 years ago. OK, she tried to scat, which proves that if you can't remember the worlds, and you can't sing, you can always fall back on making incoherent noises.

I guess I'm hyper critical tonight because last night I got an email criticizing a review I wrote for Kenny G's new album. Here's my review, what do you think?

OK, so your looking up Kenny G and you found this is his new album. If your even looking him up it must be because you like Kenny G, or you clicked on the wrong link. To those who looked up Kenny G on purpose, I'm sorry. You have no taste. The only people that should buy this album are those who are completely deaf. There's no way that anyone with a semblance of taste will run far, far away from this album. It's just the same old Kenny G stuff... soft 'songs' that have titles, but that really don't mean anything. Each song is like pleasant wallpaper, or a nice frame on a horrible picture, something you notice and then forget. There's little substance in any, and all, of Kenny G's 'work,' and he continues that pattern here. If you like elevator music, even this is a bit too much. It's all the same, the same old trick. I'm not sure why Kenny G. came back, I wasn't missing him at all. I don't think anyone was. But, he's back, and just in time to molest my ears, like the noise from a blender does. Actually, I rather hear the blender.

And now here's the email I was sent.

I have no idea who you are and like most reviews I read they usually stink. Your is in a league of its own, and the words have yet to be discovered to describe it. Do all of us a favor and read cereal boxes. You might get some ideas. Kenny G does have a following and if his music delights them then great. To those who do not care for him Don't Listen!! A Musician of many years

Despite the grammar mistakes I was able to somehow understand what the writer wanted to convey. But, for those who don't understand Moron, I'll translate. First, this person doesn't know who I am, but he read my review. And, like most reviews he reads, he finds mine to be bad, or as he says it, it stinks. In an attempt to insult me he tries to be cleaver by saying that my review is in a league of its own, among other things. I'm invited to read cereal boxes instead of voicing my opinion. Last time I looked this was still a free country, were people could voice their opinions. Last, but not least, the writer suggests that Kenny G has a following of fans who think his music great. Obviously I'm not one of them. Believe me, I don't listen to Kenny G crap.

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