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Getting better, hopefully -- 12.12.04
Things here are the same. Nothing new in terms of my Grandmother's health. She's doing better, so that is good news. Of course, there is still the matter of the cancer. Everyone is ready to do what they have to do. The snag right now is the insurance issues. Damn I hate insurance companies.

As I write this it's Sunday night. I just came from being at the hospital all day. My Grandmother doesn't get much sleep during the night because they poke her to test her vitals, and blood. It's definitely hard for her to get any sleep at night. My Aunt, who is staying with her at night, wrote the times that she was tested. Basically she gets about 20 minutes of sleep before the next test. There was a couple of times during the night in which she was able to sleep at about 90 minute clips. In short, she doesn't get much sleep during the night. She probably gets more sleep during the day.

Today was a good day in a sense. She didn't get too sick from the food she ate. Up until yesterday she was still getting sick from the food she ate. The doctor told us to have her eat in bits. As soon as she gets full she stops, and waits a few minutes before taking more. It seems to be working.

Nevertheless, less you think that she is out of the woods yet. Things are stable right now, but that doesn't mean that she's well. She still has that damn cancer inside of her. Hopefully we can make the move to where they will do the surgery. And not to say that surgery will be easy. It's certainly not. She's not well, and she's older. That's something that will probably have to be taken into consideration. Still, this is the only way to save her life.

My father called me earlier in the week, and it made me want to just throw the phone across the room. He was telling me, instead of asking how my Grandmother was, that I needed to get a job to help with the costs. Right now I can't be thinking of getting a job! Nevertheless, I was thinking that school will have to wait while some bills are paid. Either way, if my Grandmother doesn't make it, or if she does. Bills are still going pile up, and they need to be paid. I'm not really caring about that right now, but it's in the back of my head. So I didn't need my father to tell me what I already knew. The truth is, he hasn't been much of a father to me, and I haven't been much of a son to him. So we're pretty damn even.

These events have made me reevaluate some things in my life. It was definitely time to rearrange my priorities. Now I'm forced to do it, and one thing I have to do is just get out of my father's life. It's probably better that we not have any contact from now on. Like I said before, we really haven't been there for each other anyways. So why try to build a relationship now that we're so far apart? And at a point in which I'm looking to focus my energies into saving someone I care about? Everything else is taking a backburner in my life, except my Grandmother. I value loyalty over so many other things.

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