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Mixed bag -- 12.22.04
This is the view from my Grandmother's hospital room.

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Basically what you see is a neighboring medical tower. In the background is the Miracle Mile part of Los Angeles. If the building wasn't in the way then you could see Downtown. At night the lights of the city twinkle in the distance. It's beautiful.

As you know my Grandmother has cancer. The prognosis is a mixed bag. The doctors can't do anything surgically to remove the cancer. The alternative to this is chemo, or to do nothing. The doctor came by her room today to ask her what SHE wanted to do. Obviously doing nothing means what it means, they'll just let things run its course. Chemo therapy means some bit of hope. The doctor said somewhere between 30% to 40%. Which is definitely better than 0%. Now the question is, how will she take to the chemo? The doctor has concerns, and did tell her about the option of starting chemo, but if she finds she can't tolerate it, then the treatments can be stopped. It's really up to her. She will be the arbiter of how all this goes.

This is where she stands, and where we stand in this situation as well. She's the one in the driver's seat, we're here for help, and support. The family has really come up big on this one. My Aunt has put her life on hold in order to stay with my Grandmother every night that she's been in the hospital. My extended family have asked for updates, and are truly worried. They have been sending her well wishes, and good vibes. She is certainly not out of the woods yet, by any means. However, now certain things are clearer.

When we first got to Cedar-Sinai I hoped that this was the place she would come to get cured. The hospital has been quick to respond to her needs. With a little luck, and some work, she can pull through this ordeal. I know that I'm going to be with her every step of the way. I dropped my plans to go to CSUN in the Spring, knowing that she would need help. Somehow I knew that I wouldn't be going to CSUN until the Fall of 2005. I first applied to start in the Fall of 2004, but that fell through when I had to take a math class over. Like I said, something told me that I wouldn't step foot on the CSUN campus before Fall 2005. I still might not, but that remains to be seen.

Whatever happens now, I'm happy to say that I'm making my peace with the trials of life. The last few years have taught me many lessons.

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