|Not having a job is really killing me at this point. I'm having to live on pennies a day. Which isn't THAT bad actually. Sometimes it has forced me to see things as they should be, not as they are. In the past I was a little extravagant with my money. These days I find that I am holding on to the little I have. I'm also finding that money really isn't all that important. I knew that already, but that idea has been confirmed. I can do more with less now, thanks to HAVING to do without.
The simple lesson is... you know what? Money doesn't equal happiness. A few weeks ago I headed out and took a daytrip to downtown, and Pasadena. I spent a total of $6 that day. Yet it was the most amount of fun I had had since before my Grandmother became ill. That day especially taught me that the simpler things in life are the richest. In my belief system it is taught that less is more, and worldly possessions are temporary. Having only pennies in my pocket is teaching me that I'm not really poor, as long as I'm happy. And I am. NICE!
On a less serious subject, I want to rant about these silly bills I get. When I get a credit card bill in the mail I find that the envelope is bursting with ads. There never seems to be anything in these bills but ads for the stupidest things. The following picture shows the ad contents of my last bill from Sears.
There were SIX different ads in the last bill. Ads for binoculars with a built in digital camera, another for an electric griddle, another for some ring, and I forget what else. I threw them out as soon as I scanned them in. It just frustrates me that I'm being sent all these ads in my bill. OH, and my bill itself has ads all over the place. My American Express bill usually consists of 4 pages of ads, and one of the actual bill. It's such a waste of paper, and ink, and effort. Because 99.5% of the time I have NO interest in the things that are being advertised. This is another case of less being more.
Saturday I was dragged to a quincenera, which is basically a Hispanic sweet sixteen. But it's much more than a party. It's really a huge thing where there's a mass, followed by a party that seems to last forever. At least that's how it feels in my family. My whole day was ruined, to say the least. The one fun thing that happened was that I rode around in a huge limo for about 4 hours. The ride itself wasn't all that great, but one incident that occurred was fun. While driving around Hollywood I spotted this woman that was supposed to be dressed up as Mae West (pictured below).
The funny thing that happened is while I was trying to get a picture of this woman this old man started to harass her. He would try to feel up her boobs, and she would make this face of disapproval that I wish I had captured. It was just too silly. The limo driver and I had a good laugh over it.
In the spirit of less being more I've decided not to build a myself a levy, as the song goes. I have this feeling that I really don't want to get TOO close to anyone emotionally. Closeness hurts right now, seeing as I lost the closest person in my life. I'm still feeling the sting of that loss, hence my apprehension. There's also another reason for this aversion to intimacy. In the past, and present, I would get TOO attached to people, things, situations. I'm not very good at letting go of things. I'm the kind of person that misses the classes I took a million years ago. That kind of sentimentality is a bit too much for this instant in instant out world.