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Not quite cruise control -- 03.18.07
(4:19pm Saturday) This has not been an easy week to deal with. The week started on an up note, what with me getting a nice fat "A" on my Grammar test. Unfortunately my school week ended with a horrible "D" on my English 436 test. ARGH ! I now hate that class because there's just too much information to have to store in my head. A head that is suffering from a super serious case of senioritis . It would be completely stupid for me to fail this English class after passing the other's with flying colors--often without even trying. This class comes along when I'm nearly on cruise control. I can't afford to be that complacent right now because it will mean me failing this class. ARGH! It so sucks that I'm going to have to start actually doing homework THIS late into my schooling.

To top the week off, Friday was the 10th anniversary of my mother's death. It has been so long that my memories of her are not as vivid as they used to be. I mean I can't honestly remember the sound of her voice right now. I'm sure that if I heard it right now I could recognize it. Still, you get my point, it's been a LONG time. Ten years is long enough for lives to change, and certainly my life has changed in the last 10 years. The biggest changes have happened in the last three years however.

(8:23pm) I'm in a burger joint a couple of miles from my house getting some dinner for the family. I was getting hungry, a rare thing these days, and I decided to get something for myself and the family. They're getting ready to go home to Mexico tonight. They were supposedly going to start the trip this afternoon, but that plan didn't work out. I have no idea when they'll go. I really would rather they not go back home, because I know I'll miss them. Wow, is this entry about missing people or what? Back to the subject, whatever it was at this point.

It's been 10 years since my mother's passing and the pain of missing her is still there. It's like a scar that heals up but still hurts when you hit it just right. Same goes for my Grandmother's passing, though that is more recent. That hasn't even scared over yet, it's been too soon.

(10:07pm) I'm so sleepy right now, and have been all day because I went to sleep so late last night. Thankfully I don't have work early tomorrow. Hell, I would rather not even go to work AT ALL tomorrow. Maybe I'll just finish this entry tomorrow (Sunday).

(10:50pm Sunday) Nearly a day later and I finally get to writing the rest of this entry. I really don't remember what I was saying last time, and I'm too lazy to go back and read it. I'll just say that I haven't been very interested in much of anything lately. Food has dropped off my radar again. I'm not eat well. I'll skip meals sometimes because the thought of food makes me sick. Too bad my stomach isn't cooperative in this foodless mood I'm in. It starts to hurt right away if I don't get something in my belly on time. Sucks!

Today was Pharmacy Girl's last day at crappy Ralph's. She's moving on to bigger and better things. Certainly anywhere not Ralph's is bigger and better. Hopefully my departure will happen sooner than later. Also to bigger and better things of course. I did get a little sad to see her go, especially since I didn't make an effort to get her number or email or something in order to keep in touch with her. She didn't really seem that receptive to the idea that I contact her in any way. So, as I must, I will move on with this as I have with so many other things. I do have to mention that in the last couple of weeks so many things have changed that I can't even keep track of them. None of them really super serious, but certainly enough things have changed that I've noticed. Then again this also happened to happen around the time that I stopped giving a damn.

Two weeks from now is Spring Break, and while I don't have any plans just yet I'm quickly trying to figure out what I want to do with my few days off. I wanted to go up the coast like I did a couple of years back, but do it even one better. I want to go to San Francisco. I haven't gone up to S.F. since high school, so it's about damn time. This time I would want to see all the things I missed the last time, because I got stuck going with the family. I kinda want to ask a friend to go with me, but who? Part of me thinks that it would just be better if I took the trip by myself anyway, that way I could just go wherever I wanted to. Still, I'm not sure that kind of trip would be any fun alone. Still, if alone is the only way to go, then I'll go alone. I'll take plenty of pictures, you know that.

Anyway, it's getting late and I have school tomorrow. Damn I dread going to that English class on Tuesday.
End Communication.

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