I buried my Father today. It was a nice ceremony, with a lot of politics. I guess it�s typical that people are going to remember the good and not the bad. But it�s also typical that people are going to judge things they don�t know anything about. One of my relatives was talking to my aunt, who went with me to the funeral, and she was saying some stupid stuff about how I didn�t seem to really be sad about my father�s passing.Truth be known I didn�t cry a single tear for the man. I have already said that I wasn�t close to him, but I did feel bad for his family, the one he had after my mother divorced him. They aren�t bad people, and in 25 years they did love him. Certainly more than I seem to have loved him. There was a moment when I had to place a carnation on his casket. I had a pair of gloves on that I wore as a pallbearer. I was to take the gloves off, place the gloves and the carnation on the casket and then move on. As I took off my right glove it took my LiveStrong bracelet with it. The bracelet fell on the ground and that�s when I remembered my Grandmother. See, I wear it for her because she died of cancer. Looking at it reminded me how much I miss her and then that�s when the tears came to my eyes. It�s sad that I didn�t feel enough for my own father that the only tears I cried at the funeral were the ones that came from thinking of my Grandmother�s passing. It�s really a �reap what you sow� statement, because he wasn�t there for me.
After the service I wanted to get out of dodge as fast as I could. My cold, which was subsiding, has come back stronger. So now I�m suffering from a nasty cough and low energy. I didn�t want to go to the common law�s house and eat some food I didn�t like and then drive an hour and a half in the dark. I simply wanted to get home, relax in my desk chair, and get some greasy food in my belly. All three of those things have now been done. Sunday I go back to work and try to continue as best I can after this horrible month of horribleness.
Tomorrow is another day, and I plan on sleeping in on said other day. Since my father got sick a couple of weeks ago I�ve been eating bad, sleeping irregular hours, and fighting this stupid cold. I think a little rest is in order for the next couple of days before I return to work.
Just to go back to the funeral and the family for a moment. It is my intention never to see anyone of those people again. They are forever criticizing me for being the way I am. I�m sorry that I don�t conform to their ideals, and yes I�m being sarcastic. I don�t think they�ve ever liked me, not that I really care. I�m old enough to pick and choose who I want to see. And with the last remaining tie to those people now gone I intend to live my life free of them. So yeah, later gators.
So the interview that I was supposed to have had on Monday is still up in the air. They said that the person who was to conduct the interviews was in the hospital, so I guess they haven�t gotten out yet. On top of that I have another interview on Monday, this time with the South Pasadena library. Ideally I�d like to get both jobs, to round out the full work week, and leave crappy Ralph�s in the rearview mirror. It was a good place for a while, (no it wasn�t) but now it�s time to go (that is true). Also, I�m planning on submitting some of my photos to the Brand library in Glendale. They take submissions from �up and coming� artists. I�m sick of having my work collect dust, never to be seen by anyone, even though I upload new pictures to my site every month. I picked 10 pictures, five color five black and white, to represent my talent. I got the email today that they are going to be mailed soon. Then after that it�s put them in an envelope and hope that they�re good enough to catch someone�s eye.
I�m tired, time for me to get some rest.
End Communication.
