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I GOT THE JOB! -- 12.06.07
 
I am quite happy to announce that... I GOT THE JOB! San Marino library here I come! Woo Hoo! You DON�T know how happy I am to have gotten the job. It�s funny, I was telling El Patron the other day that I sent in the application almost as an afterthought because I was blanketing all the available library jobs I could find. Now here I am with an opportunity to really enjoy myself at work again. Which makes me think about something that people say when I tell them I have a new job. They ask how much I�ll be making. To me that�s such an afterthought because this job is more about my happiness than it is about the money. One can�t buy happiness, and right now I could use some happiness after the month I had to endure.

I�m so happy that the feeling sometimes swells up so much inside me that it feels like I�m going to literally burst from all the joy I feel. It�s like being in love or something. Today I have to run down there and get the paperwork started so that I can start this new job in January. Which is just barely three weeks away at this point. That�s pretty damn soon. All I can think about is how this means I can leave crappy Ralph�s once and for all. Perhaps not right away, but certainly I can cut my hours dramatically, like from four days a week to two or even just one. I�d rather just quit outright, but bills need attending to. That is until that darn house is sold.

No news on that, by the way, but the lobbying for me to keep it has already started. Tuesday one of my aunts called me to ask me why I was selling the house. I told her my reasons, which include not being able to drive up every month to check-up on it. Also, I have plans for that money. The house I live in still needs to be paid off. We don�t owe that much, but certainly owning it outright is a priority once I get my windfall. I�d like to also wipe out my personal debt and start over at zero. There was a time when I had a few bucks and I was never more than a few hundred dollars in debt. These days I fear to even say how much I owe. Still, that would be wiped out and I could end paying interest on credit cards.

Still, I know why my aunt wants me to keep the house, because it belonged to my father. When someone dies we tend to want to keep their things because they remind us of them. And yes, I�m super sentimental about certain things, but I�m not sentimental about his house. It�s funny how I would feel sadder about losing one of my childhood toys than selling his house. If you do the math it�s easy to understand, I have no emotional attachment to that house. But, of course, those who were closer to him will attach some sort of emotion to the house. To me it�s just a thing, like so many things.

I will tell you that now that I�ve had a little time to digest things I�ve come to the conclusion that everyone from my father�s family doesn�t like me at all (and by that I mean my uncles and aunts, and the common-law�s relations). It�s because I don�t fit into their mold, I don�t do things they do, nor act like they do, and they don�t know me. I think that they believe I�m ungrateful for what my father did for me. I�m not, but it�s like how one of my aunt�s by marriage said to one of my other aunt�s (my mother�s sister), �He mourns in his own way, doesn�t he?� That was both a slight and an observation, because I didn�t ball my eyes out at his funeral. It�s true, the only time I cried was when I looked down at the LiveStrong bracelet I wear and remembered my Grandmother and how much I miss her.

But whatever, as soon as that house sells I�ll never deal with the whole lot of them again. I have a match in hand ready to burn not just one bridge but several bridges.
End Communication.

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