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I GOT THE JOB! -- 12.06.07
 
I am quite happy to announce that... I GOT THE JOB! San Marino library here I come! Woo Hoo! You DONíT know how happy I am to have gotten the job. Itís funny, I was telling El Patron the other day that I sent in the application almost as an afterthought because I was blanketing all the available library jobs I could find. Now here I am with an opportunity to really enjoy myself at work again. Which makes me think about something that people say when I tell them I have a new job. They ask how much Iíll be making. To me thatís such an afterthought because this job is more about my happiness than it is about the money. One canít buy happiness, and right now I could use some happiness after the month I had to endure.

Iím so happy that the feeling sometimes swells up so much inside me that it feels like Iím going to literally burst from all the joy I feel. Itís like being in love or something. Today I have to run down there and get the paperwork started so that I can start this new job in January. Which is just barely three weeks away at this point. Thatís pretty damn soon. All I can think about is how this means I can leave crappy Ralphís once and for all. Perhaps not right away, but certainly I can cut my hours dramatically, like from four days a week to two or even just one. Iíd rather just quit outright, but bills need attending to. That is until that darn house is sold.

No news on that, by the way, but the lobbying for me to keep it has already started. Tuesday one of my aunts called me to ask me why I was selling the house. I told her my reasons, which include not being able to drive up every month to check-up on it. Also, I have plans for that money. The house I live in still needs to be paid off. We donít owe that much, but certainly owning it outright is a priority once I get my windfall. Iíd like to also wipe out my personal debt and start over at zero. There was a time when I had a few bucks and I was never more than a few hundred dollars in debt. These days I fear to even say how much I owe. Still, that would be wiped out and I could end paying interest on credit cards.

Still, I know why my aunt wants me to keep the house, because it belonged to my father. When someone dies we tend to want to keep their things because they remind us of them. And yes, Iím super sentimental about certain things, but Iím not sentimental about his house. Itís funny how I would feel sadder about losing one of my childhood toys than selling his house. If you do the math itís easy to understand, I have no emotional attachment to that house. But, of course, those who were closer to him will attach some sort of emotion to the house. To me itís just a thing, like so many things.

I will tell you that now that Iíve had a little time to digest things Iíve come to the conclusion that everyone from my fatherís family doesnít like me at all (and by that I mean my uncles and aunts, and the common-lawís relations). Itís because I donít fit into their mold, I donít do things they do, nor act like they do, and they donít know me. I think that they believe Iím ungrateful for what my father did for me. Iím not, but itís like how one of my auntís by marriage said to one of my other auntís (my motherís sister), ďHe mourns in his own way, doesnít he?Ē That was both a slight and an observation, because I didnít ball my eyes out at his funeral. Itís true, the only time I cried was when I looked down at the LiveStrong bracelet I wear and remembered my Grandmother and how much I miss her.

But whatever, as soon as that house sells Iíll never deal with the whole lot of them again. I have a match in hand ready to burn not just one bridge but several bridges.
End Communication.

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