So the Joe-mobile (pictured below) is officially mine, insured, and 10,000 times better than that fucking asshole car I was forced to drive for over a year, my Father�s Nissan. It�s not perfect, but at least I can control it, and it has all its gears working, unlike the Nissan. I�m happy. So I�ve been thinking about my possible future. A friend of mine said something interesting a while back about the whole library path. She questioned, in essence, if I was really looking forward to being a librarian and helping people look up books about this subject or the other. She put a fine point on the whole thing, and the answer to that question is no. I don�t want to just help someone find the book that they can�t quite find. I want to write the book they can�t quite find. Someone asked me the other day if I had been working on any stories and I had to tell them the truth, that I hadn�t. I haven�t written a thing in over a year. That isn�t the longest period of time that I�ve gone without writing anything, but it is longer than I expected. After I graduated I had the notion that I would be pounding out a lot of written work. Boy was I wrong. I�m not even close to writing something that I wouldn�t want to toss into the trash as soon as I was finished. I have a good idea idea for a book, but never the time for such an endeavor. But really I SHOULD make time. Any little sliver I have in the day should be devoted to writing notes, refining ideas, and outlining the book. That�s unrealistic, even as I write that I know that I won�t be doing that. But, if I put some sort of an effort into this thing I can eventually get it done. It doesn�t have to be a Herculean effort, but something. Because at the end of the day I will say that I like my jobs at the libraries, but it�s not something that I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to write, explore the world and take a ten million pictures... literally take ten million pictures. St. Patrick�s day I hung out with El Patron and explored a park he recommended I visit, Wattles Park in Hollywood. Sadly the place has been washed away in a flood of annoying dog parks and community gardens with no trespassing signs.  But the day wasn�t about visiting a dog park, it was about exploring the city. This is a HUGE city, that seems to stretch forever. There was a guy here on L.A. named Jerry Dunphy that read the news who would start every telecast with his signature saying, �From the desert to the sea, to all of California....� The city quite literally stretches from the desert to the sea, and I�d like to explore as much of it as I can. But to get back at the subject, I�m sure I like the library environment, but I�m also sure I don�t want to just work in a library. I planned my escape from Ralph�s soon after graduation, but now I have to plan my escape from the libraries. Not because I don�t like them, but because I like something else all the more. (10:06 pm) I just got home from a full day�s work. For the last few weeks I�ve been waiting for word from my Brand library submissions. Well, the waiting is now over, and I didn�t make the cut. My work obviously sucks dick. ARGH!! It�s so fucking frustrating! I know it�s only one submission, but I can hear what was said about my work now... it�s too safe, not avant garde, not edgy, or anything but plain pretty pictures. I see my life going nowhere after changing for the better at the start of the year. I�m not even 1/4th of the way into this year and I�m already stuck in a rut. It would have been nice to travel. Fucking shit. I need a drink. End Communication. |
