So the Joe-mobile (pictured below) is officially mine, insured, and 10,000 times better than that fucking asshole car I was forced to drive for over a year, my Father’s Nissan. It’s not perfect, but at least I can control it, and it has all its gears working, unlike the Nissan. I’m happy. So I’ve been thinking about my possible future. A friend of mine said something interesting a while back about the whole library path. She questioned, in essence, if I was really looking forward to being a librarian and helping people look up books about this subject or the other. She put a fine point on the whole thing, and the answer to that question is no. I don’t want to just help someone find the book that they can’t quite find. I want to write the book they can’t quite find. Someone asked me the other day if I had been working on any stories and I had to tell them the truth, that I hadn’t. I haven’t written a thing in over a year. That isn’t the longest period of time that I’ve gone without writing anything, but it is longer than I expected. After I graduated I had the notion that I would be pounding out a lot of written work. Boy was I wrong. I’m not even close to writing something that I wouldn’t want to toss into the trash as soon as I was finished. I have a good idea idea for a book, but never the time for such an endeavor. But really I SHOULD make time. Any little sliver I have in the day should be devoted to writing notes, refining ideas, and outlining the book. That’s unrealistic, even as I write that I know that I won’t be doing that. But, if I put some sort of an effort into this thing I can eventually get it done. It doesn’t have to be a Herculean effort, but something. Because at the end of the day I will say that I like my jobs at the libraries, but it’s not something that I want to do for the rest of my life. I want to write, explore the world and take a ten million pictures... literally take ten million pictures. St. Patrick’s day I hung out with El Patron and explored a park he recommended I visit, Wattles Park in Hollywood. Sadly the place has been washed away in a flood of annoying dog parks and community gardens with no trespassing signs.  But the day wasn’t about visiting a dog park, it was about exploring the city. This is a HUGE city, that seems to stretch forever. There was a guy here on L.A. named Jerry Dunphy that read the news who would start every telecast with his signature saying, “From the desert to the sea, to all of California....” The city quite literally stretches from the desert to the sea, and I’d like to explore as much of it as I can. But to get back at the subject, I’m sure I like the library environment, but I’m also sure I don’t want to just work in a library. I planned my escape from Ralph’s soon after graduation, but now I have to plan my escape from the libraries. Not because I don’t like them, but because I like something else all the more. (10:06 pm) I just got home from a full day’s work. For the last few weeks I’ve been waiting for word from my Brand library submissions. Well, the waiting is now over, and I didn’t make the cut. My work obviously sucks dick. ARGH!! It’s so fucking frustrating! I know it’s only one submission, but I can hear what was said about my work now... it’s too safe, not avant garde, not edgy, or anything but plain pretty pictures. I see my life going nowhere after changing for the better at the start of the year. I’m not even 1/4th of the way into this year and I’m already stuck in a rut. It would have been nice to travel. Fucking shit. I need a drink. End Communication. |
