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Agent of Change/Chaos -- 03.13.10
 
After the day I had on Friday I’m teetering between becoming an agent of positive change or an agent of malevolent chaos. I thought the best way to figure it out would be to alternate between the two each day this coming week.

Friday at work I got what I can only categorize as either a “sign” or another crazy coincidence where my subconscious mind connects two random things together in order to play tricks on me. I don’t need to go into the details, but suffice to day the day went downhill shortly after that.

In the morning a girl that frequents the library computers, and that I’ve been flirting with, came up to sign up for the computer. I took that opportunity to give her my “business” card. She asked if I took photographs, which I answered in the affirmative. She then mentioned that she “needed” a photo for her Facebook page. I took that as a good opportunity to hang out with her and find out if she was single. My site has a link to my Facebook page, and moments later my iPhone was buzzing with a friend request.

We exchanged a couple of emails before she mentioned not seeing Avatar and asking if I wanted to see it with her. Sure, I said. She asked if i was busy on Saturday, which I am. I had some plans, but they can wait. A girl is asking me out, I mean kinda. I should have known it was too good to be true. Something had to queer the deal. The other shoe dropped a few hours later when I got into my car. My iPhone died, but when I got into the car I was able to connect it to the charger. Moments later I found another email from this girl. Here’s what it said: “Eric I did not know you don't believe in God, honestly i was going to movies with you but I'm not sure if i will now.”

There you have it, the moment I knew the Universe was using this girl to mock me. Oh well, such is life, right? About seven minutes after she sent that message she emails me again, this time saying: “WAIT SO UM DOES THIS MEAN NO PICTURE, I ONLY NEED ONE GREAT PICTURE.”

Typical, right? Is it ANY wonder why I’m single? I wrote her back that I was sorry that my personal beliefs caused such a dramatic change in her, but being the bigger man I still offered my services as a photographer. Who knows, maybe I’ll get a great picture out of it. Doubt it, and this point I just want to walk away from this whole thing.

This only goes to show me that I will never have a deep and meaningful connection with a woman. I stopped trying a few months ago, and I was pretty free for a little while. But then the Universe found that I was a little too happy that way. My defenses went down a little bit, and I had women coming onto me. I had that encounter, then that short make-out session with a former co-worker in my car, and now this. All of them went nowhere, and served only as mockery. I’m not sure why I bother.
End Communication.

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