It's 1:42 a.m (Monday). as I start to write this. �Either early or late, depending on your perspective. �I'm sleepy, but not enough to actually want to go to sleep. �I'm enjoying the quiet too much, I think. �The house, the outside, is so quiet at times that I wonder if I'm the only one awake. �The outside quiet is broken by the occasional sound coming from the freeway.10:53 p.m. (Monday), watching tonight's episode of House. �Tomorrow marks the 13 anniversary of my Mother's death. �Her passing was the worst experience of my life. �It was equalled by my Grandmother's passing eight years later... of the same illness.
My Mother has been gone for 1/3rd of my life. �It's been so long now that it feels like a different life, of a different person. �Probably because the person I was back then is not entirely who I am today. �Her passing taught me many lessons about pain and loss.
I must admit that I became more cynical after her death, but also more open. �Admittedly I dint miss her as I did before. But if I think of her the feeling of loss come back. �No one in my family talks about the love one's that we have lost through the years. �My Mother was really the first among my isolated part of the larger family, but not the last. Since her passing we've lost my Grandmother, my cousin and my father. �But none of us talk about any of them. �It's how we cope with the pain, I suppose.
I can only hope that I am making my Mother and Grandmother proud.
End Communication.
